KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains.
←Rate | 11-03-2011 11:52 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon No thanks, Inspirational guy, but I am only on Facebook for the jokes and the meltdowns.
←Rate | 12-23-2012 10:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life is a constant panic attack occasionally interrupted by a nap
←Rate | 01-05-2013 05:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only part I believed in the movie Titanic was when she wouldn't move her fat ass over and let Jack on the raft with her.
←Rate | 10-02-2012 10:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes, by holding on too tight, you end up losing what you were trying so hard to save. Soap, for example.
←Rate | 02-16-2012 09:55 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A relationship that’s needs to be validated and reinforced by being constantly paraded on Facebook for the whole world to see is a desperate relationship that will not last.
←Rate | 04-13-2013 12:09 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn't see himself in a mirror.
←Rate | 02-28-2013 08:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you really want something, you will find a way. If you don't, you will find an excuse.
←Rate | 05-09-2011 08:07 by KIsstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon TWILIGHT: Taking the 'N' out of "Vampire Fangs", since 2007!
←Rate | 03-02-2012 14:33 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lord gimme patience...or an untraceable handgun.
←Rate | 08-06-2011 14:07 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Parents: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture.
←Rate | 02-21-2012 12:12 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a baby with a t-shirt that said, "I'm what happened in Vegas!”
←Rate | 08-05-2011 03:06 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally...a woman who can make me smile without taking her clothes off.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 11:21 by KISSTOPHER Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never underestimate a woman's ability to make you apologize when she is the one who is clearly in the wrong.
←Rate | 01-05-2013 07:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Almost all serial killers are men. That's because women like to kill one man slowly over many, many years.
←Rate | 01-25-2012 12:13 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon That thing where hypnotists snap their fingers and people fall asleep? Do they make that for kids?
←Rate | 05-13-2012 09:48 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's 2012. How come some restaurants haven't figured out how to split checks? Nobody wants to take a math test after they eat.
←Rate | 01-26-2012 14:17 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone please tell Facebook that all relationships are complicated.
←Rate | 03-02-2013 07:04 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When will companies understand their packaging is being opened by human beings not robots?
←Rate | 10-27-2012 14:52 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I screw up at work I'm so glad I'm not a doctor.
←Rate | 05-16-2012 14:24 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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