K-Mac Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I find that a ducks opinion of me is largely influenced by whether or not I have bread.
←Rate | 07-23-2012 19:34 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know what the big deal is about Cinco De Mayo, Heck my Grandma can beat the French
←Rate | 05-05-2013 15:21 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon On my to the ER. I was preparing dinner and accidentally opened a can of whoop-ass.
←Rate | 01-19-2013 20:02 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.
←Rate | 04-27-2013 17:44 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dammit! I tried, I really tried, but Monday still found me.
←Rate | 08-05-2013 08:07 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Microwave popcorn...my own personal fireworks noise.
←Rate | 07-04-2011 21:13 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Driving down the road and I see a sign that says "Speed Inforced By Aircraft" So I went a little faster....how cool would it be to get pulled over by a plane?
←Rate | 11-10-2012 21:42 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mondays are like sandpaper for the soul.
←Rate | 02-27-2012 09:02 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll say it again. Nothing spooks me like when a cat walks into the room I'm in, looks at absolutely nothing, their hair stands up, they freak and take off leaving me wondering what the hell I'm in the room with that I can't see.
←Rate | 11-26-2012 22:33 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon A friend of mine called herself a geniust....yes your heard right, a geniust. I didn't have the heart to tell her.
←Rate | 12-26-2012 09:11 by K-Mac Comments (1)  


   messageicon I saw a man in a dress, with a hearing aid, smoking a joint. One of those high deaf TVs.
←Rate | 08-26-2011 23:31 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever think "Serial Killers Coming" when you're getting into your car and you drop your car keys?
←Rate | 12-16-2011 09:47 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't wait for the Super Moon tonight, I wonder what color it's cape is?
←Rate | 05-05-2012 17:44 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't need a parachute to skydive......unless you want to do it again.
←Rate | 05-12-2012 08:40 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you forward these idiotic chain posts and "If I get a thousand likes" posts, I automatically think you're stupid.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 18:53 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got to thinking about when Hugh Hefner who is 85 was dating that girl who was 25......That would be like me dating a girl who would not be born for another eight years.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 10:02 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aww Crap, Monday found me again.
←Rate | 07-09-2012 07:43 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not one to brag, but I deserve a medal. I just rescued a piece of cake that was trapped in the refrigerator.
←Rate | 07-17-2011 20:13 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder if they get hurricanes in India? Let me call there and find out, what the number to AT&T?
←Rate | 08-27-2011 20:12 by K-Mac Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an opinion on abortion and birth control, but I don't have a vagina so I'll keep my mouth shut...........see how easy that is.
←Rate | 08-24-2012 12:20 by K-Mac Comments (1)  



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