Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Don't worry about people from your past, There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
←Rate | 05-24-2010 11:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I laid awake all night again worrying about why I'm always so tired
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon once cops get smart enough to put a breathalyzer test at the end of a Taco Bell drive-thru WE'RE ALL SCREWED!
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Admit nothing, deny everything and make counter-accusations.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a fashion report saying that with low riding jeans in style, butt cracks are the new cleavage. What was wrong with the old cleavage???
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm waiting for the day Ziploc quits the pretentiousness with the sandwiches and just starts putting weed right on the box.
←Rate | 05-06-2010 21:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Revolutionary War went on for like 8 years, yet we settle for a 3 day weekend? The founders would be so disappointed.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon working, and having short Facebook breaks... but is now on Facebook with short work breaks... much more fun!
←Rate | 04-24-2010 12:48 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon If TMZ doesn't follow me home from work today, I'm done wearing these ridiculous Lady Gaga costumes.
←Rate | 05-19-2010 21:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My boss didn't know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 01:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that I can buy a song while on the toilet using my phone means no one is really working on cancer, are they?
←Rate | 04-30-2010 12:59 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon After 2 years I finally found the back piece to one of my remotes. This means more to me than it probably should.
←Rate | 05-17-2010 09:58 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come so many people Roll On The Floor *Laughing*? If I'm rolling on the floor, it's usually because I'm on fire. Send help.
←Rate | 06-02-2010 14:13 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The FOLD cycle on the clothes dryer isn't working.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 13:25 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, I'd like to remind you that trying to play "hard to get" doesn't work when you're already "hard to want".
←Rate | 07-14-2010 21:32 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much tequila goes into mashed potatoes again?
←Rate | 04-28-2010 14:07 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Censorship is █ very ██████ █████ in █████ ██████...
←Rate | 03-30-2010 18:23 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm picturing you naked right now. Airbrushed, Photoshopped and digitally enhanced, but totally naked...
←Rate | 04-23-2010 13:27 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have accumulated considerable wealth which, along with my collection of firearms, makes me very attractive to women. (Every rap song)
←Rate | 06-18-2010 18:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cop pulls a guy over for weaving in traffic. He walks up to the driver's window and asks, "You drinkin?" The driver says, "You buyin?"
←Rate | 05-26-2010 19:42 by Joser Comments (0)  




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