Joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts...
←Rate | 05-20-2010 13:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best things in life are free.... or have no interest or payments for one full year.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 17:49 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have the same body I've always had. Adjusted for inflation, of course...
←Rate | 05-27-2010 13:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never tipped a cow. Then again, one has never served me food.
←Rate | 05-28-2010 11:47 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.
←Rate | 06-11-2010 18:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon F*ck Earth Day. I used to be a planet too. - Pluto
←Rate | 04-22-2010 13:09 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon Condom says to Tampax.."You put me outta Business for 1 week a month. Tampax says to Condom..."If you don't do your job I lose mine for 9 months."
←Rate | 04-28-2010 13:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon A trip to Wal-Mart is all the proof I need that ugly isn't an effective means of birth control
←Rate | 06-07-2010 12:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The gang war between the squirrels and the raccoons must be escalating, based on the number of drive-by victims on the side of the road.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon After all these years, I'm surprised nobody at CSI has found the light switch in their office.
←Rate | 07-08-2010 18:56 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just figured out that my asshole neighbor is using my Wi-Fi network. I'm gonna change the networks name to "I f*cked your wife".
←Rate | 04-30-2010 18:51 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't worry about people from your past, There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.
←Rate | 05-24-2010 11:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear BP, None of this would've happened if you had hired the best deep core drilling team -- Bruce Willis, Owen Wilson, Ben Affleck, and the big black guy from Green Mile.
←Rate | 06-01-2010 13:21 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I laid awake all night again worrying about why I'm always so tired
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:24 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon once cops get smart enough to put a breathalyzer test at the end of a Taco Bell drive-thru WE'RE ALL SCREWED!
←Rate | 05-21-2010 18:57 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Saw a fashion report saying that with low riding jeans in style, butt cracks are the new cleavage. What was wrong with the old cleavage???
←Rate | 06-24-2010 23:19 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm waiting for the day Ziploc quits the pretentiousness with the sandwiches and just starts putting weed right on the box.
←Rate | 05-06-2010 21:40 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Revolutionary War went on for like 8 years, yet we settle for a 3 day weekend? The founders would be so disappointed.
←Rate | 07-05-2010 13:38 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seriously, "BFF" I've haven't spoken to in 4 months, you deleted me on Facebook?? It only took me a month to notice. I thought we were tight
←Rate | 07-15-2010 19:18 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon working, and having short Facebook breaks... but is now on Facebook with short work breaks... much more fun!
←Rate | 04-24-2010 12:48 by Joser Comments (0)  




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