Jake Funny Status Messages



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Page: 7 of 14

   messageicon Being energy efficient. When I saw an advertisment for a solar power clothes dryer. I ordered one. What I receive was a 25 foot clothes-line and a pack of 50 clothes pins.
←Rate | 09-22-2017 16:15 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon After 10 years of marriage my wife finally made me happy in the bedroom. She put in a 42'' tv a min fridge full of beer and she sleeps in the spare bedroom.
←Rate | 03-21-2018 19:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your butt cheeks were horizonal you would applaud every time you ran up the stairs.
←Rate | 03-27-2018 22:46 by Jake Comments (4)  


   messageicon View the world the way you would like it to be, and not as it is. It's less stressful.
←Rate | 10-03-2017 04:06 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas shopping for dangerous toys. For kids I don't like.
←Rate | 11-19-2009 14:05 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's going to be a Good Friday.
←Rate | 04-22-2011 09:17 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hear they're making a remake of the Never Ending Story. It starts with a man asking a woman how her day was.
←Rate | 05-05-2018 20:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids have middle names so they can tell when they're really in trouble.
←Rate | 01-18-2018 21:31 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon 3 stages of marriage. 1.engagement ring. 2. wedding ring. 3. suffer ring.
←Rate | 01-30-2018 12:04 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife was going wild in the sack last night. I eventually had to get up and let her out of it.
←Rate | 03-17-2018 23:41 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is a relationship where one person is always right and the other is the husband.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 00:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have a system for making long distance phone calls. The family and friends plan. I go to a friends house and use their phone to call my family.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 12:52 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon After trying it doggie style I can't face my wife again.
←Rate | 02-09-2018 21:03 by Jake Comments (2)  


   messageicon Went to an amature talent show and saw a topless ventriloquist. I didn't see her lips move once.
←Rate | 02-09-2018 21:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have a real life autocorrect, my wife. :-)
←Rate | 02-22-2018 02:28 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boobs are like the sun, you can take a quick look but it's dangerous to stare.
←Rate | 02-25-2018 23:57 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most wives don't mind if their husband bring some work home to do. But my sister does, her husband is a mortician.
←Rate | 09-02-2017 15:13 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Living in a nudist colony, takes all the fun out of Halloween.
←Rate | 10-10-2017 22:54 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't see anything wrong with a kidnapping. If a kid wants to take a nap, let them.
←Rate | 01-22-2018 21:19 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The evening news begins with good evening. Then they proceed to tell you why it not.
←Rate | 04-28-2018 21:31 by Jake Comments (1)  


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