GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Don't buy plastic skeletons for Halloween. It's terrible for the environment. Locally sourced all natural skeletons are more environmentally friendly.
←Rate | 10-12-2024 07:14 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm excited to announce that I have completed the first item on my bucket list. I have the bucket.
←Rate | 05-20-2024 05:56 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chocolate is a vegetable due to these reasons. Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is processed from cocoa beans, and beans are vegetables.
←Rate | 03-01-2023 06:01 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa put down the pen! I can explain everything!
←Rate | 12-21-2022 05:55 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon To get rid of unwanted junk during the holidays, put it in an Amazon box and leave it on the porch.
←Rate | 12-28-2023 05:43 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa! I want a fat bank account and a sexy body with rock hard abs for Christmas. Let's not get those two mixed up like you did last year.
←Rate | 12-01-2022 19:21 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I demanded to speak to the chef because my salad was dry. It was a situation that needed addressing.
←Rate | 09-06-2024 08:37 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Around this time in 2020 we couldn't find toilet paper. Now we can't afford it.
←Rate | 06-18-2024 10:08 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, when a woman is angry, just tell her she is overreacting. She'll realize you're right and then she'll calm right down.
←Rate | 08-20-2024 10:42 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jim Morrison was right. People are strange.
←Rate | 07-15-2024 05:32 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Back in my day we had so much toilet paper and eggs that we would throw them at the houses of our enemies.
←Rate | 03-06-2023 05:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're arguing loudly on your phone in public, please put it on speaker. I need to hear both sides of the story.
←Rate | 08-28-2024 08:37 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone needs a friend who they shouldn't be allowed to sit next to at a serious function.
←Rate | 06-01-2024 07:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Theme parks can snap a crystal clear picture of you on a rollercoaster at 70mph. But bank cameras can't get a clear shot of a bank robber standing still.
←Rate | 09-10-2024 05:41 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care how old I get. If I'm in a store and I see a toy with "Try Me" on it, I'm pushing those buttons.
←Rate | 09-01-2024 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa, you must be the bravest man around. Who else would let a bunch of deer pull them around in a sleigh during deer season?
←Rate | 12-02-2022 07:44 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to the grocery store today and the cashier said my total was $208.47. I wanted a second opinion so I went to self checkout and my new total was $43.20.
←Rate | 05-05-2024 06:06 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between humans and animals? Animals would never allow the dumbest ones to lead the pack.
←Rate | 02-12-2024 09:31 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon My mom has been attending her own personal Ugly Christmas Sweater Party every holiday season since 1984.
←Rate | 12-02-2021 15:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: Let me teach you about dishes. When you come down to the kitchen and see a sink full of dishes, if you're the husband just ignore it! Just let them pile up higher and higher until your wife gets tired of seeing them and does them herself! ðŸ
←Rate | 08-12-2023 06:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




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