Abraham Lincoln Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you want to be successful in life just tell yourself this each morning ''I am smart. intelligent, qualified. now if a job wuld just come available I'll get it!!!''
←Rate | 07-27-2012 14:01 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (1)  


   messageicon Kris Humphries of the Nets signed a 2yr $24 Million Dollar contract! Not bad considering the Nets are owned by Jay-Z, who's bestfriend is Kanye West, who is banging Humphries ex-wife!!!
←Rate | 07-18-2012 07:42 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon The harder you work, the luckier you get!!!...........Make it happen for yourself!
←Rate | 07-17-2012 09:24 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder how long it takes a girrafe to vomit!
←Rate | 08-02-2012 00:52 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Blonde was asked what her password was and she said ''MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento''....When asked why such a long password she replied ''Well Hello! It has 8 characters and at least one Capital!!''
←Rate | 07-24-2012 11:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chick-fil-a has been taking alot of heat for it's stance against Same Sex Marriage! To show they are progreesing with trhe times,they I'll be releasing a new food item today. The ''Chick on Chick'' Sandwich!
←Rate | 07-24-2012 06:44 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon On our Birthday! America as a Nation needs desperately to realize that if we do not again regain the lead in Technology and Education, we will continue to bury our heads in the sands of Afghanistan, Iraq, and Pakistan!!!
←Rate | 07-04-2012 20:17 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if when we die the light we see at the end of the tunnel is just us being pushed out of another V@gina!!!
←Rate | 07-25-2012 19:57 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bought a television! It's amazing the price difference between a 47 inch T.V. and a 50 inch T.V. is a couple hundred dollars! In real life for an extra 3 inches I would pay thousands!!!
←Rate | 08-03-2012 17:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon First, Love Yourself!..........Everyone Else, get in line!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 04:58 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll et the same underage 14yr old Chinese worker who made the United States Olympic uniforms is the same 14yr old that beats us to win the Gold Medal in Gymnastics!!!
←Rate | 07-14-2012 08:24 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dude, she has a Boyfriend! So, soccer has a goalie doesn't mean you can't still score!
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:40 by Abraham lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Music is my Escape from all the Bullsh!t in Life!!!
←Rate | 07-19-2012 07:46 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Penn State.....There's always Academics!
←Rate | 07-31-2012 13:09 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Listen I'm not an alcoholic, they go to meetings...I'm a drunk we go to parties!
←Rate | 08-01-2012 01:38 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they played it would be the 1992 ''Dream Team'' vs.2012 ''Keep Dreamin Team''
←Rate | 07-26-2012 11:22 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon The only people mad at you for speaking the truth! Are those living a lie!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 20:57 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon As you Mature, you learn that you cannot make someone love you!.....All you can do is Stalk them and hope they panic and give in!!!
←Rate | 06-25-2012 05:20 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am an Illegal! I came to take your job. But you don't have one to take!!!
←Rate | 07-12-2012 13:45 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


   messageicon Olympian's earn their medals every 4yrs........In Afghanistan our servicemen earn their medals every day!!!
←Rate | 08-07-2012 09:26 by Abraham Lincoln Comments (0)  


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