santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let's get this thing done.

   Am I the only person who feels like Christmas didn't even happen?

   To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas gift.... 📕📗 They are due back at the library today. 😂😂😂

   Well Christmas tree if finally out of the house, And back on my rear view mirror .

   So, how is everybody enjoying the air guitars I sent them for Christmas?

   Coffee Shop Sign: Unattended children will be given double espressos and made wild promises about what Santa is bringing them.

   To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I’m turning my house into an Italian restaurant.

   .... Told the wife that next long weekend I'm gonna actually get off the couch and take those Christmas lights down. Unless I see a spider then the whole things off.

   People who say "May the 4th be with you" are the same people who say "see you next year" at the employee Christmas party.

   I bet Jesus hates it that his birthday and Christmas are on the same day.

   It's never too early to get life size cardboard cuts-outs of yourself made up for this year's Christmas presents.

   Now it's too hot to take down the outdoor Christmas lights.

   It’s Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas.

   Woke up this morning with a song in my heart. Sadly, that song was "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas".

   Snorted 2 lines of pre-workout powder and now my apartment is decorated for Christmas..

   The night before the 1st day of school is just like Christmas Eve for parents

   Only 4 more months until Ryan Lochte comes down the chimney and brings us all presents.

   If Santa Claus had a FB account,,,, none of us would get presents.

   The More You Know: Jesus loved trees not cake, that's why on Dec 25th we have Christmas Trees.

   I wasn't planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung Galaxy phones.