Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   playing musical electric chairs

   thought he had Swine Flu....it turns out he was just really bored

   100 percent natural

   going over his plans for world domination and all those who have crossed him in the past will be unmercifully slaughtered....have a great day!!

   in your garden, peeing on your tomatoes...

   your father smells of elder berries

   celebating....aaaaaah! crap I forgot an R! I am celebrating

   looks life a flower but stings like a bee.

   hitting you one more time baby.

   wants to be a millionaire.

   lives in a pineapple under the sea.

   blames it on the alcohol.

   Some People are like slinkies,, not good for anything, but fun to watch tunmble down stairs(:

   Thinks your so vain you proberly think this status is about you!

   drinking tequila in the shower....09:07 AM

   vertically challenged

   not the empire but I still strike back...

   knows that your husband isn't realy taking tennis lessons on Sundays...

   needs a Facebook button that says "What you just posted makes me want to punch you in the face." Put it beside the "Like" button. Just a suggestion.

   tired of following his dreams, he/she is just gonna ask where they are going and hook up with them later