Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6329 of 6370
hoping that she remebers last nite cause I dont.
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05-28-2009 21:43
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watching the biggest loser and eating oreos
Feeling a little groggy today. I think my check-engine light has come on.
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05-27-2009 07:21 by thullqst
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pondering some of life's great mysteries. Like, why are we here?, is there life on Mars? and why doesn't Donald duck wear pants?
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05-27-2009 05:41
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leting his eye lashes hug each other for few hours.
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05-26-2009 01:58 by Tyler
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happy that the Statute of Limitations has finally expired, and he can finally admit that he is, in fact, the one who let the dogs out.
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05-25-2009 22:28
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doing the Helen Keller and talking with her hips.
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05-25-2009 15:36 by sugaRush
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single...and you're going to have to be freakin' awesome to change that!!
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05-25-2009 15:35
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such a thrill seeker. when I see "caution wet floor" signs, I speed up.
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05-25-2009 13:34
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waited patiently in line for 'free willy', only to discover it was a film!
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05-25-2009 13:16
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... This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting...
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05-25-2009 11:20 by Tenacious
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A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
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05-25-2009 11:18 by Tenacious
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...They called it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken....
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05-25-2009 11:15 by Tenacious
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...Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines...
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05-25-2009 11:14 by Tenacious
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...Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm...
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05-25-2009 11:13 by Tenacious
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thinks you should know that you don't HAVE to be crazy to be my friend...but it helps!!
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05-24-2009 18:16 by shelbs
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now friends with Mili Vanilli
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05-24-2009 03:04 by The.Mrs
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versatile..........put him in any position and he will always perform
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05-24-2009 00:05 by matt
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just saved alot of money on his car insurance by threatening his agent with a golf club!
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05-22-2009 19:17
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You're not invited to the party in my pants because you don't know the difference between your and you're.
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05-22-2009 18:55
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