Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   thinks the only type of TV "analyst" position Sarah Palin is qualified for would be on Jerry Springer... or Hee Haw.

   Oops there goes my kids all over your face!

   Prostate awareness day January 12, 2009---Show your color's guys

   Goodbye, Rosalyn. You will not be missed. I hope you enjoyed yourself with the staffer! :)

   why is it that in every song rihanna is in the same word is said atleast 400 times or 3/4 of the song consists of numerous repeated or held ayyyyyyyyyyyyyy's

   aim for the moon because even if you miss you will land in the stars

   fell on the ice today. When I got up my keys, cell phone and wallet were gone. Must have been black ice...

   9000 people are having sex right now, 2000 are kissing, 100 are geting head and you are reading my status. Hang in there mate

   Ran out of bubbles for her bath so she had to make her own.

   When life hands you lemons, squirt the juice in your eye..the stinging sensation will stop your whining.

   really hungry now but I have to serve the virtual eggheads at cafe world first.. aaahh! I need to get a life!

   busy cleaning the now-orange keyboard thanks to cheetos!

   really a sensible girl, it just so happens she came in a dorky package.

   I thought of something today, I wont ever do that again, it hurt.

   thinking jelously gets you no where, so hurry up and get over it.

   patience is not a virture, its a waste of time.

   pumpkins are alot like men, there heads are hollow, there brains are mush, and after a few days, they start to smell funny:S

   quit gambling. wanna bet?

   kudos to all your bra wearers out there:)

   was let out today from the men in white coats man what the hell were they thinking