flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Good lord I'd hate to see what Canadians do if they lose in curling!
←Rate | 06-16-2011 05:38 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When at a meeting when the boss says "anyone have any suggestions?" Don't say "inappropriate touch Tuesday"...trust me
←Rate | 06-15-2011 17:50 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wave your hands in the air, if a bee is right there.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 17:47 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it so hard to find a soothsayer in this day and age?!
←Rate | 06-15-2011 17:46 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon its come to my attention its been sometime since many of you have brought the noise/and or funk
←Rate | 06-15-2011 17:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I keep all the extra buttons that come with clothes just in case I ever need an extra 973 buttons
←Rate | 06-13-2011 05:55 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon i'm going to take a pic of my son and use age progression to see what he looks like at 16. I'll keep it in his room, and when he finally figures out its him, I'm gonna try and convince him he's a time traveler
←Rate | 06-11-2011 06:08 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Leonard B. Stern inventor of Mad Libs died yesterday of EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA. He is survived by his lovely PLATYPUS, CLARABELLE and his 99 LAWN DARTS. He will truly be A DINOSAUR
←Rate | 06-10-2011 04:19 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sales of Lady Gaga's newest CD have dropped 85% in the second week. As people have started actually listening to it.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:20 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When you bring the Taco Bell 12 pack of tacos to the party. You won't be finding yourself invited to a lot of parties.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:18 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I hear you say: "We need to work together." What I hear is you saying" "I'm not smart enough to complete this task."
←Rate | 06-08-2011 13:17 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon In 50 years, a bunch of 80 year-olds will know all the words to Ice Ice Baby.
←Rate | 06-08-2011 05:45 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking for a new job. One that I can sit at a long table, take off my glasses, and say "If your calculations are correct...my God have mercy on our souls" Pay negotiable
←Rate | 06-05-2011 20:08 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't often use violence on my coworkers. But when I do, I prefer the pimp slap. Stay frosty my friends.
←Rate | 06-03-2011 14:52 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was pretty sure that at this point in my career, I would have henchmen by now
←Rate | 06-03-2011 14:48 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How would you even go about putting 99 bottles of beer on the wall in the first place?
←Rate | 06-03-2011 03:15 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it wasn't for professional wrestling the companies that make metal trash cans would go out of business
←Rate | 06-01-2011 05:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I won't take a bullet for ANYONE because if I have time to jump in front of a bullet, you have time to move.
←Rate | 06-01-2011 05:55 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't shoot the messenger. Unless his message is that he's going to stab you next week.
←Rate | 05-26-2011 04:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Was anyone else hoping that the final Oprah show would include wearing tracksuits, taking poison and waiting for the mother ship to appear?
←Rate | 05-26-2011 04:16 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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