Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 6034 of 6370
When I want your opinion, I'll remove the duct tape.
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04-01-2010 13:40
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Going to go back in time and have sex with all the Golden Girls, and Angela Lansbery.
Put a diaper on that mouth cuz you talk a lot of crap...
They call it PMS because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
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04-01-2010 12:46
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I'm busier than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest.
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04-01-2010 12:45
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In an argument, a woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
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04-01-2010 12:43
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Wishing all a Happy Easter, and hoping the Easter Bunny craps out a huge chocolate filled egg for you!-)
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04-01-2010 12:39
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I got some new underwear yesterday. Well, they were new to me.
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04-01-2010 12:37
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Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.
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04-01-2010 12:36
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Do not follow, for I may not lead. Do not lead, for I may not follow. Just go over there somewhere, please?
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04-01-2010 12:35
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God wisely designed the human body so that we can neither pat our own backs nor kick ourselves too easily.
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04-01-2010 12:19
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Spell SWIMS upside down... this is going to blow your mind!
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04-01-2010 11:40 by Shamus
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When you think all the way back to being sperm, we are all winners.
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04-01-2010 11:39 by Shamus
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Butterflies in the belly and weak knees...The 2 best feeling in the world!
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04-01-2010 11:37
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to quit looking at my status
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04-01-2010 11:23 by Malou
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"As I said before,I never repeat myself"
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04-01-2010 11:01 by @abel254
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Your chick so easy a caveman can do it! ~t.white~
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04-01-2010 10:54
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a boy walked in on his mom and dad having sex. His dad said "we're making you a brother/sister" the boy replies "do her doggie style, I'd rather have a puppie"
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04-01-2010 10:10
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Oh April Fool's day, where everyone teeter-totters between brilliance and insanity. Welcome to my World!!
has lowered his expectations to the point where they've already been met.
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04-01-2010 08:29 by Sam
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