SULLY Funny Status Messages

   I hate mosquitoes, they're like nature's version of a Jehovah's Witness..........

   Its Soo Hot....The Jehovah Witnesses ain't even out today.

   Hey, just wanted to point out that Nemo is Omen backwards. I'm sure it's fine......

   Presidential debate #2 tomorrow.... Have you started drinking yet?

   Sequester Day 1. Sarasota, Florida. Lights still turn on, my shower had hot water, no rioting yet. I'm secure in my bunker. Rations inventoried. Locked & loaded...... God help us

   Its a pity Gadhafi died without revealing' where he bought all those cool sunglasses....smh

   Found out at lunch today that apparently, it's rude if you honk your order in Morse code to the drive-thru attendant at McDonald's.......

   was preparing for Sunday, but I just realized that post-rapture looting makes no sense because so many of us will still be here. Particularly people in public office and law enforcement.... : (

   I'm thinking Dr. Murray will probably get a harsher sentence since Michael Jackson was white at the time of his death......just saying

   If anyone is truly disappointed by the lack of destruction done by Irene, I will gladly come by & break all your sh*t & leave a few bruises.......

   A lot of folks are going to be upset that the Zimmerman jury didn't come to a verdict tonight. A prime weekend looting night, down the drain..

   I think it is high time Obama gets serious on meteorite control.....

   I checked Rosetta Stone, they don't have "Black English" instruction & I don't know who to axe about it? #donlemon

   My left buttcheek fell asleep. I'm Half-assing everything I do for the next ten minutes.....

   It seems so much later then it actually is.....

   FYI - Only seven more shopping days until the apocalypse! Plan your looting accordingly...

   Today I will celebrate the opening of the Olympic games with my own feat of endurance: sitting at my desk all day...

   Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?

   Dude fell at Walgreen's & my CPR training instantly kicked in! Had to hit him with the AED (defibrillator) like three times though, because he kept resisting.........

   Regardless of your views, you gotta' agree today is a bad day to be a chicken in America