GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'GaryKoenig': View All Messages
Page: 6 of 21

   messageicon Marriage tip: When your wife asks what's on TV, do not say dust.
←Rate | 06-25-2024 08:37 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's amazing how Facebook can spot a fake post but can't spot a fake profile.
←Rate | 09-21-2024 07:10 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am the reason why Santa has a naughty list.
←Rate | 12-19-2022 15:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got a full tank of gas for $22. Granted it was for my lawn mower but I am trying to stay positive.
←Rate | 04-26-2024 06:01 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing brings neighbors together quite like cop cars in front of another neighbor's house.
←Rate | 08-22-2024 08:35 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa! Listen here! I'll keep eating my deer jerky while you give me what I want for Christmas or Rudolph is next. Make it happen fat man!
←Rate | 12-24-2022 15:58 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon First rule of family gatherings, always bring your own vehicle so you can leave when you want.
←Rate | 11-25-2024 10:12 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Procrastination really is a good thing. You always have something to do tomorrow, plus you have nothing to do today.
←Rate | 04-21-2024 05:43 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon First rule of family gatherings: Always bring your own vehicle so you can leave whenever you want.
←Rate | 12-10-2023 10:05 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Christmas and Thanksgiving should be at least 6 months apart. It's insane to see these people again so soon. Absurd.
←Rate | 12-04-2023 05:38 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I pay attention to who reacts on my posts, because as soon as I get rich I'm buying you all tacos.
←Rate | 08-02-2024 05:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't always go the extra mile, but when I do... It's because I missed my exit.
←Rate | 06-21-2024 06:02 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am the reason Santa has a naughty list.
←Rate | 12-03-2022 13:03 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon All these galaxies and planets and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.
←Rate | 04-28-2024 05:54 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Santa: For Christmas this year I want a fat bank account and a slim body with sexy abs, but let's not get it mixed up like you did last year.
←Rate | 12-07-2022 22:04 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Black Friday: We all have big screen tvs. Put those groceries on sale.
←Rate | 11-18-2023 05:43 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't dance to save my life, but when I step in dog crap, I can moonwalk better than Michael Jackson.
←Rate | 06-15-2024 05:59 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't feel like I'm getting older. It's more like my warranty has expired and my parts are wearing out.
←Rate | 09-05-2024 10:01 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon We should have a national quiet day where everyone just shuts up for 24 hours.
←Rate | 01-11-2024 08:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: If your wife comes home in a bad mood and starts an argument for no reason like she does from time to time, just use this simple phrase: "My mom was right about you". This usually does the trick and stops the argument.
←Rate | 08-15-2023 06:14 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left