Zinc Funny Status Messages

   If two people in wheelchairs are having a conversation, is it considered mobile to mobile?

   I'm looking forward to looking back on this month.

   Khakis: What you need to start a car in Boston.

   Drank way too much beer last night. Didn't leave any for this morning.

   woke up this morning with a serious case of sexyback.

   Just realized I havn't checked in on my Tamagotchi for 14 years. Wish my wife could be the same way.

   I need to get my life together. I spilled Life cereal all over the counter!

   i was winning egg hunts before I was even born

   Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to take a home pregnancy test. Then I can say, "Hey, at least I'm not pregnant." And I know happy days are around the corner. --daniel tosh

   COPY THIS AS YOUR STATUS AND SEE WHAT PEOPLE RATE YOU. | 1. Perfect | 2. Perfect | 3. Perfect | 4. Perfect | 5. Perfect | 6. Perfect | 7. Perfect | 8. Perfect | 9. Perfect | 10. Perfect | 11. Perfect | 12. Perfect | 13. Perfect | 14. Perfect | 15. Perfect

   I just drank some food color, now I think I'm dyeing inside.

   Whenever anyone mentions something about a vicious cycle, I imagine an evil bike that can't stop killing.

   4/04 Day Not Found.

   perfectly capable of lying about whether or not he likes big butts.

   I found $80 in my jeans. The kid in me says "Buy Nerf guns and candy", but the adult in me says "Buy vodka, Nerf guns and candy.

   Earlier today I looked at the car next to me, and I saw the driver texting while driving. How dangerous! I was so shocked I almost dropped my guitar.

   Please put this on your status if you know someone, are related to, and/or adore someone who has ADD or ADHD. 93% of peo oh snap is that a dog outside?

   I was just driving behind a car covered in pro life stickers and I thought "Man, that car hates abortion". Then it dawned on me that I don't know my car's political views. What if my car is a Republican? Or a racist? Maybe I don't want to know. I like my

   Mmmmm. . .pi.

   When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it. - Clarence Darrow