nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I like Carrie Underwood better on Sunday night football
←Rate | 12-05-2013 20:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hockey is better than football. Hockey is fast, the game keeps moving, way fewer penalties, and play is both strategic and arbitrary. Football is mostly about following patterns. So is a sewing class.
←Rate | 12-01-2013 18:15 by Iceman Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had a choice tonight to either watch the Redskins lose on Monday Night Football or clean the toilets in my house. Since I didn't feel like throwing up this evening I'm cleaning house
←Rate | 11-25-2013 22:06 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon :"SH! Football is on". ~ said no Girl ever.
←Rate | 11-24-2013 13:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If all he thinks about is sex, turn on a football game. Now he's thinking about football... And sex...
←Rate | 11-01-2013 20:33 by BOOYA Comments (0)  

   messageicon free candy and football. my kinda Thursday
←Rate | 10-31-2013 16:18 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Gladys Have Been Rebranded As The "VAGIANTS" Next Year They Will Be starting their first year in THE LINGERIE FOOTBALL LEAGUE
←Rate | 10-21-2013 21:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Overview of my résumé: 1. Quick eater 2. Extensive knowledge of Parkour 3. Argumentative 4: Fired from McDonalds 5: Am I a multi tasker, (I can sneeze and pee at the same) 6: leading my Fantasy Football league..
←Rate | 09-21-2013 13:44 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon [tears open envelope] It's here! It's *really* here! The expressed written consent of the National Football League!
←Rate | 09-17-2013 19:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies, your football knowledge is about the same as my interior design knowledge. Give it up...
←Rate | 09-14-2013 14:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Somewhere out there a woman just called the football a “weird ball thingy” as a man sits nearby contemplating the consequences of murder.
←Rate | 09-13-2013 13:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sunday night Football on NBC, Al thinks Chris is as gay as can be
←Rate | 09-08-2013 20:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Official Football helmet on Captain Video!
←Rate | 09-08-2013 12:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "There are no stupid questions" - People who have never tried to watch football with their girlfriends.
←Rate | 09-07-2013 08:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I really hope my fantasy football teams do well this year.... I need a resume booster.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 21:49 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
←Rate | 08-25-2013 12:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I refereed a women's football match yesterday. It was brilliant. I booked two for muttering under their breath, one for the silent treatment and I sent one off without explanation and left her wondering what she'd done wrong.
←Rate | 08-12-2013 19:52 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon Preseason football is like watching the JV basketball team play before the Varsity.
←Rate | 08-06-2013 23:37 by Welton Comments (0)  

   messageicon if any body needs me I will be over here waiting for football season
←Rate | 06-21-2013 14:08 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't even drink my first cup of coffee every day, I just pour it over my head like a football coach so everyone knows I'm here to win.
←Rate | 06-17-2013 02:22 Comments (0)  

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