nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon I had a choice tonight to either watch the Redskins lose on Monday Night Football or clean the toilets in my house. Since I didn't feel like throwing up this evening I'm cleaning house
←Rate | 11-25-2013 22:06 by EF Comments (0)  

   messageicon :"SH! Football is on". ~ said no Girl ever.
←Rate | 11-24-2013 13:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If all he thinks about is sex, turn on a football game. Now he's thinking about football... And sex...
←Rate | 11-01-2013 20:33 by BOOYA Comments (0)  

   messageicon free candy and football. my kinda Thursday
←Rate | 10-31-2013 16:18 by pimpjuice Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Gladys Have Been Rebranded As The "VAGIANTS" Next Year They Will Be starting their first year in THE LINGERIE FOOTBALL LEAGUE
←Rate | 10-21-2013 21:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Overview of my résumé: 1. Quick eater 2. Extensive knowledge of Parkour 3. Argumentative 4: Fired from McDonalds 5: Am I a multi tasker, (I can sneeze and pee at the same) 6: leading my Fantasy Football league..
←Rate | 09-21-2013 13:44 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon [tears open envelope] It's here! It's *really* here! The expressed written consent of the National Football League!
←Rate | 09-17-2013 19:04 by Aaron Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies, your football knowledge is about the same as my interior design knowledge. Give it up...
←Rate | 09-14-2013 14:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Somewhere out there a woman just called the football a “weird ball thingy” as a man sits nearby contemplating the consequences of murder.
←Rate | 09-13-2013 13:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sunday night Football on NBC, Al thinks Chris is as gay as can be
←Rate | 09-08-2013 20:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Official Football helmet on Captain Video!
←Rate | 09-08-2013 12:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "There are no stupid questions" - People who have never tried to watch football with their girlfriends.
←Rate | 09-07-2013 08:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I really hope my fantasy football teams do well this year.... I need a resume booster.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 21:49 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Ladies, if you are really good at blow jobs, you don’t have to pretend to like football.
←Rate | 08-25-2013 12:25 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I refereed a women's football match yesterday. It was brilliant. I booked two for muttering under their breath, one for the silent treatment and I sent one off without explanation and left her wondering what she'd done wrong.
←Rate | 08-12-2013 19:52 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon Preseason football is like watching the JV basketball team play before the Varsity.
←Rate | 08-06-2013 23:37 by Welton Comments (0)  

   messageicon if any body needs me I will be over here waiting for football season
←Rate | 06-21-2013 14:08 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't even drink my first cup of coffee every day, I just pour it over my head like a football coach so everyone knows I'm here to win.
←Rate | 06-17-2013 02:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon we have some potentially severe weather headed our way this evening. please make sure you have your emergency kit: alcohol, lube, porn, blow up girlfriend, pain pills, heroin and a football helmet. Stay safe my friends!
←Rate | 06-12-2013 19:02 by indy dave Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rooney to move to arsenal? With that face, arsenal must be really willing to give up that beautiful football.
←Rate | 06-09-2013 12:55 Comments (0)  

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