KISSTOPHER Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon If you're crazy and you know it, shake your meds.
←Rate | 02-20-2013 11:59 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all the people I don't love, I don't love you the most.
←Rate | 02-17-2013 13:11 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 14:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people pride themselves on their hard work. I pride myself on doing so little and yet keeping my job.
←Rate | 02-14-2013 13:59 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last night I tried talking to the moon pretending it was you. And just like you, it maintained a distance and didn't reply. :(
←Rate | 02-14-2013 01:39 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oh, you like camping? I like drinking outside too.
←Rate | 02-12-2013 13:09 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The couple that laughs together, stays together. If that's not a pro-weed slogan then nothing is.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said that I set up the baby monitor wrong. Apparently it's not supposed to be duct-taped to the baby's ankle.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 08:34 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Love is that gun we all use to commit suicide.
←Rate | 02-11-2013 08:00 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're sexy, but not "I don't care if you have horrible grammar" sexy.
←Rate | 02-09-2013 11:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I turned my "Panic room" into a "Hispanic room" so that I have a place to wear my sombrero without being ridiculed.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 12:21 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aside from being hit and struck by a Smooth Criminal, how are you emotionally, Annie?
←Rate | 02-08-2013 11:11 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 06:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend said I treat her like she doesn't exist so I told her I didn’t even know I had a girlfriend.
←Rate | 02-08-2013 06:09 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife seems to be having a great day, I can't wait to ruin it by talking to her.
←Rate | 02-07-2013 13:18 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon At least he died doing what he loved: texting while driving.
←Rate | 02-06-2013 14:19 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon In India, when they say there’s an elephant in the room, there’s an elephant in the room.
←Rate | 02-06-2013 06:53 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know we're in a recession when they start making game shows where the winner gets a job.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 08:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if the real Slim Shady is paraplegic?
←Rate | 02-03-2013 09:53 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when a stranger smiles at me and I have to smile back and pretend I'm not dead inside.
←Rate | 02-03-2013 08:22 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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