Jake Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Went to a costume party dressed as a chicken. Ment a girl dressed as an egg. We spent the night at my place. And I found out the answer to that old question. It was the chicken.
←Rate | 06-26-2018 15:31 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's the last thing Tickle Me Elmo recieves before leaving the factory? Two test-tickles.
←Rate | 06-25-2018 01:55 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting married is the second most popular thing we do in our lifetime. Getting divorce is the first.
←Rate | 06-24-2018 00:58 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon The one good thing about an egotist. They don't talk about other people.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 23:12 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've been hard at work all day today. I accidentally took a viagra pill in stead of my vitamin this morning.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 18:52 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never go to bed with ugly women. But somehow I wake up with them.
←Rate | 06-20-2018 14:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My memory is so bad that.............
←Rate | 06-18-2018 23:44 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone says "good luck with that" are they being nice or sarcastic?
←Rate | 06-18-2018 22:58 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you go to sleep at 6am, is that going to sleep early or late?
←Rate | 06-18-2018 22:56 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bummer is being sick on your day off.
←Rate | 06-18-2018 16:39 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think I have alzheimer's
←Rate | 06-17-2018 23:26 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Who's your daddy takes on a whole new meaning in the ghetto.
←Rate | 06-17-2018 01:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What dad's really would like for father'r day. To be left alone so they can drink their beer in peace.
←Rate | 06-16-2018 22:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just deserts: When a cashier hands you dollar bills back as change. Hold them up to the light like they do when you pay them.
←Rate | 06-14-2018 18:14 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, you can tell that your boyfriend really likes you when he removes the dirty dishes from the kitchen sink before peeing in it.
←Rate | 06-14-2018 03:23 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Most licenses expire..... Except for the one most husbands wish would.
←Rate | 06-14-2018 00:43 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Play boy no longer have nude models...... What is this world coming to.
←Rate | 06-13-2018 15:07 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boss at meeting said it would nice if you employees would start showing me a little respect. One employee replied oh we show you as little respect as possible.
←Rate | 06-08-2018 16:10 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon I spent at least half an hour trying to get my girlfriends bra off. I will never try wearing that again.
←Rate | 06-07-2018 03:21 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife jabbers so much that when we go to the beach, she has to put suntan lotion on her tongue.
←Rate | 06-07-2018 02:46 by Jake Comments (0)  




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