Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon brought to you in full digital and also giving out coupons for your box.
←Rate | 11-26-2018 10:41 by elpd Comments (0)  

   messageicon The older I get, the more sense it makes to have a TV in the bathroom.
←Rate | 11-25-2018 16:47 by Joker Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thankful saturday: The saturday after Thanksgiving when all your relatives have finally gone back home.
←Rate | 11-25-2018 16:44 by Joker Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never buy my grandchildren's christmas presents in november. They really seem fun...and Christmas is in more than a month...oh what the heck: I have to try them. It's party time!
←Rate | 11-25-2018 09:25 by mohayg Comments (0)  

   messageicon I remember going to see Dr Hook in the 80s. Worst prostate exam ever!! 😲
←Rate | 11-25-2018 06:32 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good cooks don’t bake pies that taste like scented candles. cc: Darlene Van Der Pooten
←Rate | 11-24-2018 14:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Research has suggested that the internet has made us less intelligent and less patient. I don't understand that so I'm moving on.
←Rate | 11-24-2018 12:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon my dad calls me BJ because that's all I was ever supposed to be :(
←Rate | 11-24-2018 12:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It’s not unusual to get Tom Jones songs stuck in your head.
←Rate | 11-24-2018 04:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say a man's "member" can be gauged by the size of their feet. That maybe why my sister dates clowns.
←Rate | 11-23-2018 19:49 by Joker Comments (0)  

   messageicon Get your copy of "Who's Boat is this Boat" today!
←Rate | 11-23-2018 12:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girlfriend asked me to come to her place for a Black Friday special. All clothes were 100% off.
←Rate | 11-23-2018 02:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think some of my friend's have substituted their prescription meds with Facebook to feel thankful during the holiday seasons.
←Rate | 11-23-2018 02:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Some people are like that annoying advert that suddenly cuts in the middle of a viral video.
←Rate | 11-23-2018 01:55 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I get addicted to eating cold turkey, idk how i'm going to quit
←Rate | 11-23-2018 00:24 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everyone romaine calm and lettuce pray.
←Rate | 11-22-2018 13:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Guess it's time to throw out the leftovers from last Thanksgiving...
←Rate | 11-22-2018 12:18 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't usually cook... does anyone know how much vodka to put into mashed potatoes
←Rate | 11-22-2018 11:36 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Establish dominance by waiting until your wife serves the turkey and then tell her you already ate.
←Rate | 11-22-2018 11:01 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon What if we boil the lettuce first?
←Rate | 11-22-2018 10:56 Comments (0)  

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