Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Remember when someone had posted "who cares if we don't get to see polars Bears, cuz we didn't get to see dinosaurs?" I guess mother natures cares with this winter blast!
←Rate | 11-20-2014 01:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have never been paid for sex, but holy mother of god, there were a few instances when I should have been.
←Rate | 10-03-2014 12:25 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon My contribution to mother earth is not to waste water cleaning glasses when I can drink straight from the bottle
←Rate | 10-01-2014 14:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon pizza will never tell you to apologize to your mother in law
←Rate | 08-07-2014 01:57 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had to explain to my brother that a milf is supposed to be someone else's mother..
←Rate | 07-09-2014 08:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Judge, I'm sorry I attacked that woman but I was wearing cheetah print & she had on a zebra shirt & Mother Nature just took over from there.
←Rate | 07-05-2014 13:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon [Mother-in-law visiting] -May I use your restroom? -Down the hall first door on the right -That's the front door -You may use the yard
←Rate | 07-05-2014 13:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You're as crazy as your mother" is the last thing I remember saying before waking up in intensive care
←Rate | 07-04-2014 09:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just heard a little boy call his mom "mother," as if both had already accepted the fact that he'd become a serial killer some day.
←Rate | 06-28-2014 17:49 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
←Rate | 06-18-2014 11:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
←Rate | 06-02-2014 07:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never tell your wife she is just like her mother, even if it's true.
←Rate | 05-29-2014 00:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Young man, does your mother know you ask girls for nudes on social media?
←Rate | 05-23-2014 13:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Really, Fresh Prince's mother? One little fight and you ship him across the continent? You won't get a "#1 Mom" mug from me, I assure you.
←Rate | 05-18-2014 06:45 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've officially met everyone's mother yesterday via Facebook so I'm pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
←Rate | 05-12-2014 08:52 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've have met everyone's mother today via Facebook
←Rate | 05-11-2014 22:35 by chicano Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!
←Rate | 05-11-2014 20:48 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let us all heed Vanilla Ice's advice on a day like this......"Word to your mother"
←Rate | 05-11-2014 11:24 by wayneh Comments (0)  

   messageicon Of all days, who deletes someone on Mother's Day....just for that, I'm never talking to my mom again.
←Rate | 05-11-2014 09:50 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Daughter: Mama, can a girl get pregnant from @n@l s3x? Mother: Why sure, Honey. Where do you think lawyers come from?
←Rate | 05-01-2014 07:30 Comments (0)  

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