Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon [Mother-in-law visiting] -May I use your restroom? -Down the hall first door on the right -That's the front door -You may use the yard
←Rate | 07-05-2014 13:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "You're as crazy as your mother" is the last thing I remember saying before waking up in intensive care
←Rate | 07-04-2014 09:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just heard a little boy call his mom "mother," as if both had already accepted the fact that he'd become a serial killer some day.
←Rate | 06-28-2014 17:49 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle baby.
←Rate | 06-18-2014 11:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A German boy pushed his brother off a cliff. He then turned to his mother and said "Look Mom! No Hans!"
←Rate | 06-02-2014 07:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never tell your wife she is just like her mother, even if it's true.
←Rate | 05-29-2014 00:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Young man, does your mother know you ask girls for nudes on social media?
←Rate | 05-23-2014 13:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Really, Fresh Prince's mother? One little fight and you ship him across the continent? You won't get a "#1 Mom" mug from me, I assure you.
←Rate | 05-18-2014 06:45 by Huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've officially met everyone's mother yesterday via Facebook so I'm pretty sure that takes me out of the friend zone here ladies
←Rate | 05-12-2014 08:52 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  

   messageicon I've have met everyone's mother today via Facebook
←Rate | 05-11-2014 22:35 by chicano Comments (0)  

   messageicon Pay attention to all these women that are posting pictures with their mom's on Mother's Day because that is what they are going to look like!
←Rate | 05-11-2014 20:48 by Nunthewizr Comments (0)  

   messageicon Let us all heed Vanilla Ice's advice on a day like this......"Word to your mother"
←Rate | 05-11-2014 11:24 by wayneh Comments (0)  

   messageicon Of all days, who deletes someone on Mother's Day....just for that, I'm never talking to my mom again.
←Rate | 05-11-2014 09:50 by Mickey Comments (0)  

   messageicon Daughter: Mama, can a girl get pregnant from @n@l s3x? Mother: Why sure, Honey. Where do you think lawyers come from?
←Rate | 05-01-2014 07:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon How I met your mother? Well son, it was arranged.
←Rate | 04-20-2014 09:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Somehow she tracked that fart back to me....and that's how I met your mother.
←Rate | 04-10-2014 06:59 by Baddie Comments (0)  

   messageicon in the words of our dear beloved and departed, Mother Theresa - “these hoes ain’t loyal”
←Rate | 04-04-2014 10:49 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The year is 2035. Plagues and starvation have wiped out most of the earth's population. Your mother is still a whore.
←Rate | 04-02-2014 13:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Dad what's an infinite loop?"..."Ask your mother."... "Mom what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your father."... "Dad what's an infinite loop?"... "Ask your........
←Rate | 03-29-2014 19:53 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon When your girl accuses you of something just say "My mother was right about you." That will transfer attention from you to your mother.
←Rate | 03-18-2014 01:24 Comments (0)  

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