flinnie Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Canadian bacon is just ham wrapped in a lie
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to relive my single days when my wife gets home late by eating dinner standing over the sink.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:25 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Florida, you just want attention don't you? Casey Anthony, Tim Tebow, the election of 2000. Its always about you, isn't it?
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:26 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon The new ending to Harry Potter is lame. He says Abra Cadabra and Steve Miller reaches out and grabs Voldemort.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 13:29 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Natalie Portman has named her newborn son Alef. Like the kid wasn't going to get beaten up enough for mom helping to ruin Star Wars.
←Rate | 07-06-2011 18:21 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Naming a male baby is rarely easy. Go with a cool name, like Nosferatu.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 17:04 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon NAACP blasts CNN for its lack of diversity in prime time. Strangely silent on MSNBC wonderbread lineup.
←Rate | 07-08-2011 17:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon We need to be more concerned about dinosaur ghosts
←Rate | 07-11-2011 06:07 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a faded sign at the sign of the road. However there was no mention of a love shack.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 06:12 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching a Travel Channel show on ghosts. I don't buy the Massachusetts ghost in the red flannel shirt. Thats a meth addict, not a ghost.
←Rate | 07-11-2011 06:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Since this is the last time for the space shuttle, I think we should all dress up as extras from Planet of the Apes when they land
←Rate | 07-13-2011 23:43 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I eat alot of king sized candy bars. Not because I like alot of candy, but because I'm of a royalty.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 01:14 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't care if people call you the space cowboy, gangster of love or Maurice. I think you're delusional.
←Rate | 07-14-2011 18:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: making the high school reunion last forever.
←Rate | 07-16-2011 20:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Harry Potter's movie reinforces one stereotype. That an army of evil is still surprisingly inept at killing the main character
←Rate | 07-16-2011 20:03 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon BREAKING NEWS: United States resumes not caring about soccer, looks forward to NFL Football in September
←Rate | 07-17-2011 22:18 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook was the most searched term on Google last month. If you need Google to find Facebook, you shouldn't be using the internet.
←Rate | 07-18-2011 17:24 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hot weather drinking tip: Consume a fist full of aspirin, down a bottle of vodka and go stand out in the sun for about seven hours. Its fun
←Rate | 07-19-2011 12:59 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Want to feel old? Kim Carnes of Bette Davis eyes fame turns 65 today.
←Rate | 07-20-2011 18:01 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's best euphemism for self gratification: Buttering your corn.
←Rate | 07-20-2011 18:02 by flinnie Comments (0)  



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