doc noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I'd rather hear my parents describe how they have sex than hear a group of drunk chicks when their favorite song comes on.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 16:37 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a small child trying to talk to me right now. Quick! What should I do??
←Rate | 08-25-2011 16:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Am I a hypochondriac? Well, a cloud just went in front of the sun and I thought I was fainting.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 19:40 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't decide if this thick orange sky color over New York is beautiful or too close to a chemical attack of some sort.
←Rate | 08-25-2011 19:42 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon People say that you chew ice cubes when your sexually frustrated: Related News, I am responsible for the shrinking Ice caps.
←Rate | 08-26-2011 14:04 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon since I am unemployed I tell everyone "this is my Friday" all day everyday so at least I get some cheap thrill out of dying alone
←Rate | 08-26-2011 14:06 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon This girl just caught me staring at her, but I played it off by yelling “Cool wall behind that girl's head!”
←Rate | 08-27-2011 19:33 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I refuse to believe there's enough happiness in the world to justify anyone sticking magnetic daisies on their car.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 13:02 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stuttering's cool if you think of it as a drumroll for your sentence!
←Rate | 08-28-2011 13:08 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanna feel like a female porn star? Aggressively open a Yoplait under your nose.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 13:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My back just cracked to the beat of "The Rhythm is Gonna Get You". It finally got me...
←Rate | 08-28-2011 13:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary, Bloody Mary!" - Sunday Brunch was delicious.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 13:39 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Jamie Lee "Stupid Liar Face" Curtis, I ate 32 Activia yogurts an hour ago and nothing has h
←Rate | 08-28-2011 15:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon so...Is Will Smith movin' back in with his auntie and uncle in Bel-Air?
←Rate | 08-28-2011 17:37 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon With show after show about it on the History Channel, I'm starting to think the Holocaust might have really happened.
←Rate | 08-31-2011 18:29 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of course someone else packed my bags for me. What am I a peasant?
←Rate | 08-31-2011 20:45 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can act my age just fine, until you say something like "penal code".
←Rate | 08-31-2011 20:46 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spent the last 40 mins. on the phone with my mother, regrettably the first rule of Zumba class is nothing like the first rule of Fight Club.
←Rate | 08-31-2011 20:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not a gynecologist, but I will give you some Frontline for that.
←Rate | 08-31-2011 21:10 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're homophobic, it's important to remember that they're more afraid of you than you are of them
←Rate | 09-01-2011 14:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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