MTQ Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating


Search Messages:
[Clear]

Search results for status messages containing 'MTQ': View All Messages
Page: 6 of 8

   messageicon I'm coming out of the closet. Not that! I mean her husband finally left for work.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 22:11 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my ribs like I like my women. Hot, saucy, and on the bone.
←Rate | 06-19-2012 09:06 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon If everyone were telling the truth on fb, the economy would be booming, all kids would be geniuses, everyone would look like they're in their 20's, and all relationships would remain happily ever after.
←Rate | 06-21-2012 07:54 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Word on the street: Johnny Depp is single. The other word on the street: You don't stand a chance.
←Rate | 07-10-2012 14:38 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon $ex is the most common event that draws people in to things. Be it sales, facebook posts, etc. I always felt that $ex is not the most important thing. And I've managed to instill this philosophy in all 18 of my kids.
←Rate | 07-16-2012 11:11 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know when dogs sticks their heads out of a moving car window, bite at the air and it looks like fun? I tried it. It is.
←Rate | 08-01-2012 05:55 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't want chicken. I want Manicotti. Manicotti-fil-A. Now we're talkin'.
←Rate | 08-01-2012 17:10 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was texting on phone with my mom. She asked me if the weather was really bad. I typed, "Nah", but autocorrect spelled: 'Nag'. Now she won't take my calls.
←Rate | 08-27-2012 11:59 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Aerosmith on the Today Show. Willard Scott Wished them all a happy 100th birthday.
←Rate | 11-02-2012 08:44 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate.
←Rate | 11-04-2012 15:53 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally happened...knew it was coming....my beeper broke. Anyone know where to get a good deal on a new one?
←Rate | 11-09-2012 08:34 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you have a facebook page that features both you and your girl....you're a h0m0.
←Rate | 11-10-2012 09:19 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever broiled a turkey for Thanksgiving? It's not bad if you don't mind your turkey a little rare. Okay, very rare but....
←Rate | 11-14-2012 08:33 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Fortune Cookie: Woman who go fishing with six men...go home with red snapper.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 08:02 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Further proof the Mayans were right. Hostess goes bust while Little Debbie flourishes.
←Rate | 11-16-2012 11:28 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hahahaha!!! Pour me some more Champagne! Fuck!n' A! WOO HOO! YAY! YAY! ~Little Debbie
←Rate | 11-17-2012 13:45 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon The past, the present, and the future all walk into a bar at the same time. It was tense.
←Rate | 11-18-2012 08:34 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon This guy across the street does nothing but baby his car. OCD. Obsessive Car Detailing.
←Rate | 11-20-2012 20:04 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry about the cold weather, everybody. I didn't realize I put my new air conditioner in backwards.
←Rate | 11-26-2012 07:15 by MTQ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Winners in Arizona and Missouri. The Arizona winner will blow it all on skin lotion, and the Missouri winner will blow it all on having someone prove to them that they actually won.
←Rate | 11-29-2012 07:21 by MTQ Comments (0)  




[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left