Mick F Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Me: If I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time. She: If I had known you had more time, I would have taken off my pantyhose.
←Rate | 11-05-2011 13:35 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
←Rate | 07-17-2011 11:04 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I was ever given just one month to live, I'd watch a baseball game. It's an eternity.
←Rate | 06-08-2012 10:42 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My buddy got a cheap hooker. He paid ten dollars and woke up the next day with crabs. He saw the hooker and complained. She said, "Whattya want for ten bucks, lobster?!"
←Rate | 09-16-2011 19:35 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Karma Ran Over Your Dogma
←Rate | 07-14-2011 10:39 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex is like air, it's not important unless you aren't getting any.
←Rate | 07-25-2011 19:53 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had my mom get me some condoms once. I told her I used them to keep my cigarettes dry at the beach. She went to the pharmacist and asked for some. Wise guy asked, "What size?" She said, You know, for a camel!"
←Rate | 10-28-2011 13:14 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mosquito season is here. Put a fabric softener dryer sheet in your pocket to keep those pesky critters at bay. Even if it doesn't work, the Skeeters will be velvety soft and attain an April Fresh scent.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 10:45 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon If more people...instead of stirring the pot, would smoke it...the world would be a happier place.
←Rate | 08-28-2011 09:20 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My lifetime ratio of bananas purchased to bananas eaten is running about 5 to 1.
←Rate | 10-25-2011 09:16 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon A hooker approached me while she was eating a bag of Lays. I instinctively produced a bag of Wise and ran in the opposite direction.
←Rate | 12-02-2011 06:40 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've come to the realization that I have attained the pinnacle of middle aged complacency. My Friday nights are mostly spent with the remote in one hand, and my b***s in the other.
←Rate | 12-06-2011 22:44 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would love to see things from your point of view, but I cant seem to get my head that far up my ass
←Rate | 09-17-2011 15:15 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I happened upon a KKK rally. I said, "The only races you rednecks recognize are Indy and Daytona."
←Rate | 08-17-2011 04:28 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you say "virgin" in Dutch? Goodentight.
←Rate | 10-01-2011 08:06 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My daughter came home from school and said that a boy showed her his pen!s. She said it reminded her of a peanut. I said, "Why, was it small? She said, "No, it was salty."
←Rate | 10-12-2011 06:06 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Jamie Lee Curtis, please take your Activia, and blow it out your a$$.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 08:15 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girl and I are like oil and vinegar. We have to shake things up to make it work.
←Rate | 07-15-2011 08:53 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was afraid the first time I went parachuting. The instructor said if I didn't jump, he'd stick his manhood where the sun doesn't shine. I jumped. A little.
←Rate | 08-07-2011 13:22 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's nothing that irks me more than guys fawning all over a hot, yet insecure dysfunctional actress type on facebook, as if they're gonna "get some". It's like watching people kissing the a$$ of a train wreck.
←Rate | 09-23-2011 07:51 by Mick F Comments (0)  



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