Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Please pray for all the people at my last job. They're fine but they still work there
←Rate | 10-25-2017 02:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Can Walmart be a feeling? I'm pretty sure that's how I'm feeling today.
←Rate | 10-29-2014 12:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Its not stretching if it doesn't involve crazy dinosaur noises.
←Rate | 11-30-2013 06:12 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This Facebook is really cutting into my other time wasting activities.
←Rate | 06-17-2014 09:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like people the most when I'm by myself.
←Rate | 08-05-2014 01:23 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pro tip: when you wake up, reach for your GF's boobs before reaching for your phone to check your Facebook. Women love that.
←Rate | 01-11-2014 00:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yes, those diamonds in your teeth are shiny, but your vocabulary is still limited and now you have a speech impediment.
←Rate | 03-05-2014 12:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think my jokes are bad, you should see my choice in women.
←Rate | 12-06-2013 04:14 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "There's strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
←Rate | 03-27-2015 12:10 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My diet can be best described as carb loading for a marathon I'll never run.
←Rate | 05-29-2017 11:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just ate a salad when I could've eaten a cheeseburger. Where's my reward? I should get an award, right? Maybe a cheeseburger.
←Rate | 06-23-2016 16:32 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women just don't get it, That men just don't get it.
←Rate | 09-05-2013 12:13 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If “too drunk to stand” is a yoga pose, then I’m nailing that one.
←Rate | 09-13-2014 10:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to WebMD. Type quickly, you don't have long to live.
←Rate | 02-08-2015 09:51 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hell nah I’m not clicking on page two of any article online. It’s online. Your stupid story should fit one webpage however long it is.
←Rate | 09-06-2016 01:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't have any girl to spoil for Christmas this year so my bank balance is looking healthy.
←Rate | 12-26-2014 07:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm clingy, but not " Simon Cowell's t-shirt" clingy.
←Rate | 03-05-2014 14:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's either you wear crocs or you have a sex life. Can't have both.
←Rate | 08-01-2017 13:28 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I see a happy couple, smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love, I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test.
←Rate | 01-06-2014 12:52 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wish there were more love songs about naps and liqour.
←Rate | 03-06-2014 13:21 by Kisstopher707 Comments (1)  



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