Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
5862
5863
5864
5865
5866
5867
5868
5869
6371
Next»
Page: 5866 of 6371
the real reason you shouldn’t flush condoms is the fish get caught in them and it makes the fishermen laugh so hard they fall off the boat
6
3
←Rate |
10-23-2019 05:38
Comments (
0
)
Somebody broke into my house and stole the alarm system.
4
1
←Rate |
10-23-2019 05:38
Comments (
0
)
[trick-or-treating] Her: *crying* Mommy, she gave me an orange with a pumpkin drawn on it! Me: Honey, hold mommy’s flask for a minute.
5
1
←Rate |
10-23-2019 05:38
Comments (
0
)
*Maybe try dressing up as SpongeBob this Halloween, since you're so self absorbed.* -Me as a therapist
3
1
←Rate |
10-23-2019 05:40
Comments (
0
)
Just heard a woman ask if she left her teeth over there Really hoping this is Halloween related
3
2
←Rate |
10-23-2019 05:41
Comments (
0
)
Men are NOT pigs. Pigs are gentle sensitive and intelligent animals.
1
2
←Rate |
10-23-2019 14:52 by
moon
Comments (
0
)
I felt a little guilty about not eating any vegetables today then I remembered I ate some Ruffles earlier so I'm good now.
6
1
←Rate |
10-23-2019 20:28
Comments (
0
)
On Facebook friends are like "My life is beautiful! Everything is so fantastic I can hardly contain myself!" But in real life when you ask them how they're doing they're like "okay"
3
2
←Rate |
10-24-2019 11:52
Comments (
0
)
I think I’d respect captain crunch more if his eyebrows weren’t on his hat
16
2
←Rate |
10-24-2019 14:14
Comments (
0
)
"Im not talking without my lawyer present". Cop:"but you are the lawyer". Me: "Exactly, so where's my present"?
9
4
←Rate |
10-24-2019 14:52
Comments (
0
)
Me: "Doc, I just got back from Thailand and there's something wrong with my feet." Doc: "what is it" Me: "My pecker keeps dripping on them..."
4
5
←Rate |
10-24-2019 15:54
Comments (
0
)
Things I learned the hard way in high school: Don't dump Gatorade on your coach's head, especially if you lost the game.
5
1
←Rate |
10-24-2019 23:13
Comments (
0
)
If Cinderella's shoe only fit her and no one else why did it fall off?
8
2
←Rate |
10-24-2019 23:31
Comments (
0
)
My advice is to never take any advice you get online. Including this advice.
6
3
←Rate |
10-24-2019 23:33
Comments (
0
)
Some women pay $5000 for breast enlargement. I got my man boobs for free.
7
3
←Rate |
10-25-2019 08:11 by
Gil
Comments (
0
)
I think Cinderella purposely left her shoe at the castle just like Side Chicks always seem to be leaving their panties.
2
1
←Rate |
10-25-2019 08:58 by
@dingalls
Comments (
0
)
When I first started growing a beard I didn't really like it but after some time it started to grow on me.
5
2
←Rate |
10-25-2019 12:06
Comments (
0
)
Impeachment is not only constitutional, but also golden.
21
41
←Rate |
10-25-2019 12:17
Comments (
1
)
The cashier asked me if I wanted my milk in a bag to whom I replied No thanks, I think it would be easier to carry home in the container.
7
2
←Rate |
10-25-2019 22:19
Comments (
0
)
Never ask a woman with no teeth for gum
4
1
←Rate |
10-26-2019 07:22
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
5862
5863
5864
5865
5866
5867
5868
5869
6371
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com