Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
5723
5724
5725
5726
5727
5728
5729
5730
6370
Next»
Page: 5727 of 6370
"Cannot connect to network, try resetting your wireless router." Umm OK but what if my router is in my neighbor's house? Should I call him?
104
19
←Rate |
07-30-2010 15:05
Comments (
2
)
If I were a pilot I would scream "WE'RE GOING DOWN" every time I landed the plane.
16
11
←Rate |
07-30-2010 15:02
Comments (
0
)
It's hard to find a birthday present that says "I think your a douche but I still want a piece of your cake please."
23
8
←Rate |
07-30-2010 15:01
Comments (
0
)
In addition to Casual Friday, I propose the following: Punch A Coworker Monday, No Pants Tuesday, Drunk At Work Wednesday, and Call In Sick Thursday.
158
28
←Rate |
07-30-2010 15:00
Comments (
0
)
My definition of urgent and yours must be different. Answer this, IS IT ON FIRE?
11
6
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:58
Comments (
0
)
I believe in love at first sight which is why I quit looking homeless people in the eyes. Just can't risk it.
15
9
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:57
Comments (
0
)
I think this coffee is broken.
14
12
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:56
Comments (
0
)
I like to slip condoms into the carts of little old ladies at the store and then watch their reactions when their checking out.
61
12
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:55
Comments (
1
)
If you're starting a sentence with "not to sound like a b*tch," guess what you're going to sound like...
33
6
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:54
Comments (
0
)
If girls just wanna have fun, then why do they get upset when you don't want a relationship afterwards?
13
10
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:53
Comments (
0
)
If your password is "password" then that is not the only thing I know about you.
5
7
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:52
Comments (
0
)
I will kill you, alarm clock. And your whole family and anyone you've ever cared about.
26
9
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:51
Comments (
0
)
Bike helmets only protect you from looking cool.
14
10
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:51
Comments (
0
)
My grandmother just asked me why I don't have any photos on Facebook. Well, at least I know my privacy settings are working properly.
55
10
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:50
Comments (
0
)
The funny thing is, you can't tell if I'm naked...
6
11
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:49
Comments (
0
)
I can finally sympathize with women after I had to make a CVS trip at 2 am because my XBOX controller ran out of batteries.
10
13
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:48
Comments (
0
)
Wanna have some fun? Ask a really stoned person to say the word indubitably.
6
8
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:47
Comments (
0
)
You know you're a redneck when you go to Walmart and take pictures of yourself.
4
11
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:47
Comments (
0
)
A man sitting in church writes a note to his wife: "I just let out a silent fart. What should I do?"...She writes back, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
95
17
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:46
Comments (
0
)
When I start to trip and fall, I just turn it into a dance. "Sorry, can't control the funk."
13
6
←Rate |
07-30-2010 14:44
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
5723
5724
5725
5726
5727
5728
5729
5730
6370
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com