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Wife: I wish I was newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all day. Husband:I too wish that you were newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday.
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08-14-2010 15:13
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To prevent injuring your thumb while hammering,have your wife hold the nails.
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08-14-2010 15:01 by
deadmau5
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Never entrust your life to a surgeon who has more than two band -aids on his fingers
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08-14-2010 14:58
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Happy Independence Day to all Indians out here...Married Men may ignore this message :-)
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08-14-2010 13:11 by
Asiantopper
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I was a little disappointed in my morning.. the crayon said peach.. but it sure didn't taste like peach!
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08-14-2010 12:55 by
Jeff
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Realized there is a fine line between a true friend and a fake, two faced back stabber who cares only about his/her self.
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08-14-2010 12:50
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Friends who befriend me can't be a friend in the first place now can they.
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08-14-2010 12:41
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Firefights recently rescued 2 men from an industrial clothes dryer. The men were listed in stable condition but missing one sock.
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08-14-2010 12:19
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wants to be in a relationship with Captain Morgan and live on Parrot Bay
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08-14-2010 12:02
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A man walked into a library and asked for a book on suicide. The librarian said, "F* off, you won't bring it back!"
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08-14-2010 10:25
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Uh oh...just saw the little devil from my left shoulder drop kick the little angel off my right shoulder a minute ago...this can't be good.
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08-14-2010 10:03 by
Jeff
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thinks, nobody has interest in knowing what brand you wearing in.. so guys PULL YOUR PANTS UP !!!
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08-14-2010 09:17 by
Soneyooo
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"Real men actually spend time away from their computers." Yeah... that's because they're avoiding you.
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08-14-2010 08:57 by
casey hoyt
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dear local weatherman if its 92° and feels like 102° then guess what dumbass? its 102°
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08-14-2010 08:02
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Saw some guy walking in the field behind the house last night wearing an old hockey mask and carrying a machete. He wandered into the woods. Hope he found his way home. Poor fella.
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08-14-2010 07:56
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BREAKING NEWS: Myspace is dead!
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08-14-2010 07:10
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I am used but in good condition
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08-14-2010 04:11 by
SAM
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Facebook your always asking whats on my mind...But what I really want to know is whats on your mind?
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08-14-2010 04:01
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all these pokes I'm getting am I supposed to sound like the pillsbury doughboy
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08-14-2010 01:43 by
Eddy
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Happy+Friday=much fun......
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08-14-2010 00:10 by
Corey C
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