Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
Page: 5686 of 5826

   messageicon if only life came with ◄◄ REW ► PLAY ▌▌PAUSE █▌STOP ►► FF...buttons.
←Rate | 12-11-2009 01:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a procrastinator... ehh i'll finish this post later
←Rate | 12-11-2009 00:34 by chas Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...back in the 80's my mom would scold me and say "Don't use that tone of voice with me young lady!"....I just texted my 15-year old son and said "Don't use exclamation points with me Mister!"...my have times changed!
←Rate | 12-10-2009 21:58 by angelmom808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinking about an Apple sporting goods store: iBalls
←Rate | 12-10-2009 21:33 by Tim Comments (0)  


   messageicon knows it's foggy and late in the day, but I'm pretty sure there's a unicorn behind me.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 19:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon eating Pizza Rolls and is not wearing pants.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 17:26 by GabrielBelmont Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never date a tennis player; to them love means nothing.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 16:33 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is not a word or a sentence, as reported above. It's an institution - like... prison.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 13:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama gets a Nobel prize after sending 30k more troops. Stay tuned, next week Tiger Woods wins husband of the year.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 13:51 by Fel Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks the voices in his head need serious singing lessons (ever heard the Smurfs performing Enter Sandman?)
←Rate | 12-10-2009 12:31 by Harry Comments (0)  


   messageicon Im not under the alkafluence of inkahol thet some thinkle peep I am!!!
←Rate | 12-10-2009 12:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study found that house cats spend 22 percent of their days looking out windows, 12 percent playing with other pets, 8 percent climbing on chairs and just 6 percent sleeping. They also found that cats had the exact same schedule as Joe Biden.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 12:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 12:02 by Lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon pulled last night. He approached a gorgeous girl and said "Look, I know you're in a different league to me, but! I'm willing to drop one for ya"
←Rate | 12-10-2009 11:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I accept this Nobel Peace Prize, blah,,,blahh,,,,blahh,,,blah...blahhh.....................
←Rate | 12-10-2009 10:54 by SCURRY Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders when John Mellencamp will write a song about the plight of the Facebook farmer?
←Rate | 12-10-2009 10:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon (Tiger's Christmas Song) Oh the weather outside is frightful. Having many tramps is so delightful. Just so my hot wife don't know…text a ho, text a ho, text a ho.
←Rate | 12-10-2009 09:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering if blacks call it "Ask" Body Spray...
←Rate | 12-10-2009 09:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless the next one is a dude, I don't want to here any more about Tiger Woods
←Rate | 12-10-2009 08:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What's on my mind? Let's peer inside and listen... "Meow, meow, meow, meow..." Wow! That was akward. 
←Rate | 12-10-2009 08:15 by Tim Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left