Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Facebook Status Messages or Whatsapp updates and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon Ok, so now I have my coal in the pressure cooker....How long will this take?
←Rate | 12-25-2009 20:02 by mike Comments (0)  

   messageicon says, forgive your enemies, but remember their names.
←Rate | 12-25-2009 17:46 by mullerman Comments (0)  

   messageicon outsmarted Santa this year... see I need coal to heat my house, so I was extra bad so I would get more coal! Now who's laughing fat guy?
←Rate | 12-25-2009 12:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks businesses that make their employees work on Christmas day are from the devil! Except for the gas stations and all of the other businesses I'm going to need today.... those ones are sent from God!
←Rate | 12-25-2009 12:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon You keep Evolving, I'll keep Believing.
←Rate | 12-25-2009 12:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Its Jesus' birthday yet..... we're the ones getting the gifts.....How about that.
←Rate | 12-25-2009 11:08 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon thank you for the thousands and thousands of reminders letting me know what today is. Good job Thanks!! Keep me posted!
←Rate | 12-25-2009 11:05 by Danmanz Comments (0)  

   messageicon You keep Believing, I'll keep Evolving.
←Rate | 12-25-2009 04:31 by GabrielBelmont Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think I overdosed on my family.....Santa has the right idea....only visit some ppl once a year.....
←Rate | 12-25-2009 00:38 by Samir Momin Comments (0)  

   messageicon Christ's Hope Rescuing Iniquitous Souls To Miraculously Administer Salvation!!! Thank God for Christmas!!!!
←Rate | 12-25-2009 00:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli...
←Rate | 12-24-2009 23:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you can't figure out what to get someone for Christmas, get them a gift card! It's like saying, "Here's $20... go get your own damn gift!"
←Rate | 12-24-2009 23:22 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wishing God Almighty a happy birthday! They grow up so fast!
←Rate | 12-24-2009 22:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Money cant buy happiness, but at least I can pick my own misery.
←Rate | 12-24-2009 22:35 Comments (0)  

   messageicon pissed..he just bought a DVD entitled "Tiger's 18 Favorite Holes", and the damn thing is about GOLF!!
←Rate | 12-24-2009 21:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon just shot his eye out..
←Rate | 12-24-2009 20:31 by Brendan Ryan\'s Mustache Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if Tiger Woods is dreaming of a White Mistress?
←Rate | 12-24-2009 18:26 by COREY Comments (0)  

   messageicon eating Babybels at this special time of year. After all, Christmas just wouldn't be Christmas without the baby cheeses.
←Rate | 12-24-2009 17:59 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Rihanna can stopp tryin' . . . Seems like Chris Brown slapped the music outta her. . .
←Rate | 12-24-2009 17:55 by Comments (0)  

   messageicon standing in line at Target and just received a dirty look from the woman in front of him, after he started dancing to her obnoxiously loud "Sex and The City"-theme ringtone.
←Rate | 12-24-2009 15:30 Comments (0)  

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