Funny Status Messages
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Cats have nine lives...which makes them perfect for experimenting on... 
I've started keeping two lists: "To do" and "Too late"
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
can you make a caption that I can actually read ?
Imagination is intelligence having fun.
PERVERT: something we all are, but are too afraid to admit!
"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we" George Dubya Bush
Brett Favre came out of his hole and didn't see his shadow. That means only 5 more weeks until football starts.
Old Macdonald had tourettes,...e....i.....e.....i.... c%*t
O Friday, O Friday! wherefore art thou Friday? Deny thy other weekday
sin's so skilfully that it puts god in a dilemma whether to punish or not...
says Live every act fully, as if it were your last.
why dont they complain when Catholic Churches are built by playgrounds??
whenever you drop clothes on the ground and don't feel like bending down to pick it up so you just kick it up and catch it in the air
Archaeologists have uncovered what is to be believed as the remains of the worlds oldest dog. Also uncovered at the same site is believed to be the worlds oldest dog coller. It says, "i'm rex, if found return to Larry King"
more awesome than The Miz.
You go to bed right now mister... How dare you post on here about your mother you are grounded for a week with no lemon bar deserts!
Anyone else hate when there mom says they have to go to bed because it's too late? I mean really mom... it's 9 pm I know you are just looking out for me but I am 35 and I deserve some respect!
climbing in your windows & snatching your people up. Hide yo kids. Hide yo wife.
Your Skin Is Pale White and you dont go out in the sun. Say it,Vampire. No I just play a lot of world of warcraft.
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