Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon sometimes I feel like a crayon in a box full of markers...
←Rate | 12-19-2009 17:24 by joe fool Comments (0)  

   messageicon According to a new poll, 26 percent of unemployed adults blame George W. Bush for the high unemployment rate. The other 74 percent blame the fact that they majored in English literature.
←Rate | 12-19-2009 16:52 by tomcall Comments (0)  

   messageicon Harry Reid is a cotton head ninny muggin
←Rate | 12-19-2009 16:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Question: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down? Answer: He heard the snowblower coming!
←Rate | 12-19-2009 15:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon smile it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth
←Rate | 12-19-2009 14:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wanders if a turtle lost it's shell would it be homeless or naked? :)
←Rate | 12-19-2009 14:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon if good girls sit on santa's lap, do bad ones sit on his face?
←Rate | 12-19-2009 11:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows God is no mechanic, but he gives great repairs!
←Rate | 12-19-2009 10:52 by raul Comments (0)  

   messageicon borrowing money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
←Rate | 12-19-2009 10:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not fighting his way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
←Rate | 12-19-2009 10:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon reminding you that Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
←Rate | 12-19-2009 10:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Talk about global warming..I just saw a Tiger on the Appalachian trail
←Rate | 12-19-2009 08:33 by Mr. Craig Comments (0)  

   messageicon was surprised to find a Christmas present from last year while getting the decorations out. The kids were all excited as I opened the box. What a pity it was a dead puppy
←Rate | 12-19-2009 08:17 by deithy Comments (0)  

   messageicon A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.  He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing...... 
←Rate | 12-19-2009 04:43 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it wasn't for my random sputterings insane ramblings and wild hallucinations I'd be as normal as you.
←Rate | 12-19-2009 01:21 by GabrielBelmont Comments (0)  

   messageicon never got the expression "complete idiot". Is there an Incomplete version.?
←Rate | 12-19-2009 00:25 by Snypa Comments (0)  

   messageicon 's age is very inconsistent, I wouldn't be surprised if it changed again next year.
←Rate | 12-19-2009 00:24 by Snypa Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did you hear that the new and politically correct name for 'lesbian'. It has been changed to 'vagitarian'. 
←Rate | 12-18-2009 22:45 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
←Rate | 12-18-2009 22:43 by mullerman Comments (0)  

   messageicon My phone says it's nippy out. I don't know why it says that but it seems to be true...
←Rate | 12-18-2009 22:11 by joe fool Comments (0)  

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