Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5403 of 6370
theres only one way to become champion ......... never loose
←Rate |
11-19-2010 17:23
Comments (6)
you can't tune a piano, but you can tune a fish
←Rate |
11-19-2010 17:16
Comments (1)
I just bought the Complete Idiot's Guide to saving money for only $89.99!
←Rate |
11-19-2010 17:07
Comments (0)
I hold my Nintendo gun sideways when I'm playing Duck Hunt cause I'm a Gangsta!
←Rate |
11-19-2010 16:58 by jimbo
Comments (0)
Everyone complains about octomom but everyone loves the duggars who popped out 20+ of those things. Shows you americans don't understand how much octo means
←Rate |
11-19-2010 16:37
Comments (4)
My adopted asian baby and I went to go pick out a pet, I suggested a lizard and she started screaming and crying. Who knew asian babies know of godzilla at 2 years of age
←Rate |
11-19-2010 16:34
Comments (0)
Always use tasteful words because you may have to eat them.
The people who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it.
The older I get, the more I desperately cling to my immaturity.
I'm living the dream! Unfortunately, I think it's the bad one where I come to school with no pants on.
Playing monopoly with a jew, a woman and a black person. It's very awkward because the black person is in jail, the woman is the iron and the jew is the banker
←Rate |
11-19-2010 16:23
Comments (0)
For those of you who know what Moth Balls smell like I have only one question. How'd you get your nose between the little fellas legs?
←Rate |
11-19-2010 16:01
Comments (0)
Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.
"I love my cable company! Their customer service and pricing can't be beat! I'm glad I have no other options!" said no one ever.
While I may not always return the affection of those who like me, I always admire their good judgment
Don't let schooling get in the way of your education.
A weekend wasted isn't a wasted weekend.
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday, 4% Friday.
←Rate |
11-19-2010 15:37 by BONNIE
Comments (0)
Dont Pour Sugar on me... I have Diabetes... Dont Pour Sugar on me... High in fructose... Dont pour sugar on me.. I'll die of stroke.. Hot sticky lost my feet... Feeling numb from my head to my feet yeah... Dont Pour Sugar on me... I have had enough
←Rate |
11-19-2010 15:36
Comments (1)
Just got the best massage with happy ending at the new TSA Spa at JFK Airport.
←Rate |
11-19-2010 15:36 by hdwking
Comments (0)