Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5239 of 6371
If you love me, let me know. If not, please take the $20 and finish the job.
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01-23-2011 23:45
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The Packers beat the Bears, I guess hunting season is officially over.
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01-23-2011 23:44
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The condoms I use are so sensitive... They hang around to cuddle and talk to the chick 45 minutes after I leave.
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01-23-2011 22:29 by wch
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The Arabian gas station attendant was closing the store when I pulled up. While I was pumping gas, he came outside and was shaking the welcome mat. I asked "What's wrong?... It won't start?
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01-23-2011 22:20
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Lock up your young daughters Roethlisberger will be out celebrating!!
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01-23-2011 22:17
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Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you only dress yourself. Moral of the story: in life no one helps you once you're f*cked.
Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that.
the jets havent even made it to the runway lolz.. .
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01-23-2011 21:25
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♫♪♫♫♪♪♪♫♪♫♫♪♫♫♪♪♪♫♪♫♫♪♫♫♪♪♪♫♪♫Sorry iv forgot the words :o)
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01-23-2011 20:53
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Facebook - one more way my mother can make sure I haven't died in the past 24 hours...
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01-23-2011 20:49
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Somewhere Brett Favre just throw his remote at a tv....and it was intercepted..
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01-23-2011 19:49 by kalika
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Few things are as attractive as a slightly pudgy middle-aged man in a Star Wars shirt. - observations from my mirror
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01-23-2011 19:21
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Getting really sick of making my own sandwiches
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01-23-2011 19:13
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its a beautiful day in Mr. rodgers neighborhood.. .
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01-23-2011 18:40
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I was thinking about sending Jay Cutler a consellation prize to ease his pain. Does anyone know his skirt size?
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01-23-2011 18:39
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The only reason I want the Bears to win today is so that I can watch them lose in the Super Bowl.
I often wonder if the passive-aggressive Facebook status updates of others are aimed at me.
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01-23-2011 15:27
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I'm training for the Super Bowl. Today's menu: 3 dozen wings, sliders, nachos and beer.
One day I want to be "Let's Just Take My Helicopter" rich.
Let's take turns going crazy. You first.