Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Breaking News: Tigers around the world have united to argue the point that Charlie Sheen must be on illegal drugs. They claim that they have tiger's blood flowing in their veins and they don't act that crazy.
I had my dose of monday Tiger Blood, but I broke my freaking dragon tooth.
it's Monday everyone, hope you've had your Tiger's Blood!
just rolled a huge joint out of my harvard rejection letter...life is grand.
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03-07-2011 09:06
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hey home school kid, go into the home economics class and get me a beer.
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03-07-2011 08:43
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Producers say 2-1/2 men won't go with out Charlie Sheen, I bet that makes that other guy and that kid feel good.
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03-07-2011 07:53
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Put down the Charlie Sheen magnifying glass, and pick up the mirror.
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03-07-2011 07:45
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So the US want to do away with 1 dollar bills and goto 1 dollar coins, I wonder what this will do to the Stripping industry, I see a comeback of fanny packs to put them coins in.
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03-07-2011 07:44
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I thought dressing for your shape was the new sexy, not dressing like a slut!
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03-07-2011 06:30
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Lets just say I like my milk without the chunks. Don't ask me how I know this.
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03-07-2011 02:52 by ff1241
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Gun Control: Use both hands.
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03-07-2011 02:49
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We were sooooooo poor... we would eat beans for breakfast, water for lunch, then we'd swell up for dinner.
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03-07-2011 02:48
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I'm writing a book. I have all the page numbers down, now I just have to fill in the rest.
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03-07-2011 02:45
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I had a life once . . . now I have a computer and a modem
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03-07-2011 02:42
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There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
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03-07-2011 02:36
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I just got fired, but the boss wrote me a really nice recommendation letter. He wrote, “If you get (this guy) to work for you, you'll be lucky!”
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03-07-2011 02:34
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Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000 Mosquitoes
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03-07-2011 02:30
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Money can't buy happiness, but it can help you look for it quicker, in a convertible.
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03-07-2011 02:29
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HOOTERS...putting lot lizzards to work since 1987
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03-07-2011 01:22
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RJ Just changed his relationship status to " It doesn't have to be that complicated Let's just drink and get naked And see what happens"
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03-07-2011 00:54
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