Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5078 of 6371
Some people seem to read the Bible a lot as they get older. Maybe they think they're cramming for their finals.
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03-10-2011 03:07
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I used to work for a factory that made fire hydrants, but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.
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03-10-2011 03:05
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Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
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03-10-2011 03:04
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Guests Who Kill Talk Show Hosts, on the LAST Jerry Springer
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03-10-2011 03:02
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I'm busier than a one-toothed man in a corn-on-the-cob eating contest.
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03-10-2011 03:01
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One morning my girlfriend asked me if I slept well and I replied 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
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03-10-2011 02:58
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Terminal Illness............Getting sick at the airport
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03-10-2011 02:57
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I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothes. If I had any I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
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03-10-2011 02:53
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Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
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03-10-2011 02:49
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I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here.
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03-10-2011 02:45 by RoN
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If you're one in a million, there are six thousand people exactly like you.
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03-10-2011 02:45 by RoN
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If space & time are the same as Einstein said, can you be five miles late
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03-10-2011 02:39
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I got up the other day and everything in my apartment was stolen and replaced with an exact replica.
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03-10-2011 02:32
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One goldfish says to the other, 'If there's no God, who changes our water every week?'
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03-10-2011 02:31
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Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
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03-10-2011 02:28
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You know you're getting old when 'happy hour' is an afternoon nap
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03-10-2011 02:26
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Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight
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03-09-2011 23:27
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You remind me of my Chinese friend, Ug Lee.
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03-09-2011 23:03 by RoN
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U don't need friends to show how cool you r, or how great ur personality is. The tiger spends most of his time alone while sheeps are always in a herd
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03-09-2011 21:43 by TechnoBoy
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With gas prices headed towards $4.00/gal, I think its time to form an intergovernmental organization of oil consumers. We could call it the Organization of Fuel Using Countries, and tell OPEC if they keep it up they'll be hearing the screams from OFUC.
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03-09-2011 21:42
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