luka Funny Status Messages

   When you ask a person in a strange town for directions why do they say 'I haven't got a clue'? Don't they understand that you want directions instead of clues?

   My girlfriend told me she wanted me to choke her during sex, I asked her; whats wrong with during dinner?

   Alcohol: Because no great story ever started with someone eating salad.

   Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?

   I hate when my wife corrects me,so I said to her "Sarah I want a divorce" she responds with "my name is Debbie"

   I don't always finish my sentences but when ido...

   I don't always make sense but when I do idont

   Friends are a lot like trees they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe

   What is red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

   2 more for today Do you want some Hot Lesbein Sex and by Lez sex I mean Tea but it will still be hot

   my girlfriend thinks I am in capable of being faithful my wife on the other hand.

   I went to my local library yesterday, and asked: “Have you got a book on handling rejection without killing?”

   So many people leave their bodies to science, I wanna leave my body to accounting

   I have a friebd that is both gay and lactose intolerant, I call him the non dairy queen

   Personally I am happily married, unfortunately my wife is not

   My dad always told me "Theres 4 kinds of people, Those who can count and those who cant"

   There are two types of people in this world, those who finish a joke and those that

   what do asians do when they have Erections? Vote

   My girlfriend thinks I am incapable of being Faithful... My wife on the other hand, has a sister I wouldn't mind, if ya know what I mean

   Saw this kid dressed as Dracula so I played along and stabbed him with a wooden stake, his mom was not happy