flipphonescott Funny Status Messages

   How the heck are eggs full of cholesterol but chickens aren't?

   Ok mother nature we beat the snow record now there's no need to run the score up!

   how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat ?

   Only a few things Reeses cups will not fix!

   kinda pissed off right now! going to put on red polo and walk around target and vent!

   has no problem GETTING it together, I just can't KEEP it together

   "I love to cook with wine, sometimes I even put it in the food."

   maybe I will knock one out before sportscenter

   Today is going to be a non-labor day

   i knew The Kardashians.we going to screw us up. look what it did too Bruce!!! freaking 0.j.

   I THINK 50 shades of grey is our weather forecast!!!!

   no really what are reindeer games ?

   FREEBIRD! (When you purchase a bird of equal or lesser value.)

   i have a bad moisture-induced glitter clump problem!

   I must not be real stupid, television has not made me famous yet!

   i am going antiquing! at my age that means I am looking for chicks

   We all have a drawer by the sink filled with junk. Can you please check your drawer for a Boeing 777

   My credit score looks like the speed limit!

   i think the NFL may be getting close in over hyping the superbowl!

   Bed good outside bad!