ANONYMOUS Funny Status Messages

   would have brought sexy back but I lost the receipt

   pities the fool

   can't believe its not butter!

   now understands, the reason he cant find his car keys is because he doesnt have a car.

   in court her imaginary friend filed a restraining order against her

   normal..it's everyone else that's weird.

   cool like the other side of the pillow

   thinks the future isn't quite what it used to be

   going over his plans for world domination and all those who have crossed him in the past will be unmercifully slaughtered....have a great day!!

   looking at you naked (mood: disappointed)

   "sniffing glue, going to the zoo, gonna free all the kangaroos. Suck it Dr. Seuss!"

   applied for job at AIG, I heard they get paid!

   wondering when will he ever learn the answer to lifes problems arent at the bottom of a bottle, theyre on facebook!!!!!

   not FDA approved yet

   would give her right arm to be ambidextrous

   back..by popular demand!

   somewhere over the rainbow

   the person your mom warned you about!

   Change is inevitable... Unless your a vending machine

   wonders where Puff the Magic Dragon gets the good stuff