@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   Girl: Hey what's up? Boy: if I tell you would you sit on it?

   I don't know what's more awkward, Answering Dora, Or sitting there in total silence while she stares at you..

   Crying is not necessarily a sign of weak character. Sometimes it is a sign of strong onions.

   You know you're drunk when you can speak fluent Ozzy Osbourne

   That moment of happiness when you find out that everyone hates the same person you hate

   EGSG «—- Scrambled eggs

   When you're walking and texting and you walk slower and slower and slower till you're just standing there texting..

   It's so cold out that I saw two gangsters with their pants UP

   They'll hate you if you're pretty. They'll hate you if you're not. They'll hate you for what you lack and they'll hate you for what you got.

   Pretending you're the host of a cooking show, when you're home alone cooking.

   An old man said "Erasers r made 4 those who make mistakes." A youth replied "Erasers r made 4 those who r willing 2 correct their mistakes!!" Attitude matters!!

   I'm on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle.!!!

   Teacher: "Why are you late? Student: "I'm late?" Teacher: "You just missed an entire period" Student: "Are you telling me I'm pregnant?"

   *Press a toy in the store* *won't stop making noises *slowly walk away*

   If I am ever in the middle of a shooting, I will just lay on the floor and act like someone already killed me.

   One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I'm going to bed

   ~• << Picture of me when I was younger, I was so cute. :D

   One thing that will always remain true: There is no cool way to run with a backpack

   I'm sorry but if someone busted out of my birthday cake, they better have another cake in their hands because I really like cake. ....

   Oh so now I'm invisible to you? That's cool. I've always wanted a superpower.