Kisstopher707 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Sure, I'll go to your open bar and watch you get married.
←Rate | 01-17-2015 11:04 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's like my kids don't even believe how cool I was in the 90s.
←Rate | 04-23-2015 14:54 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's vultures circling around my sex life.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 14:59 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't know how badly we're losing the war on stupidity til I joined Facebook.
←Rate | 05-08-2014 10:08 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most interesting thing about me is my lack of interest.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 10:39 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing screams I need to get laid like screaming I need to get laid!
←Rate | 05-09-2016 12:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I suggest we eat pizza and someone says something stupid like "No, I had pizza yesterday," I just nod like I understand, but inside my head I have murdered the person a thousand times.
←Rate | 01-04-2017 08:33 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman's cleavage tells you the amount and type of attention she needs.
←Rate | 02-27-2014 08:15 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey douchebag. Women like men with an accent, not an Axe scent
←Rate | 07-17-2013 12:53 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Somewhere someone's therapist knows you.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 09:24 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't, under any circumstance, believe I'll return your Tupperware.
←Rate | 12-10-2014 07:55 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he's called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
←Rate | 02-18-2015 13:03 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still think I'm in my 20s sometimes...until I try to do something like I'm in my 20s.
←Rate | 06-06-2015 10:57 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When does paying taxes get shut down? Asking for everyone with a job.
←Rate | 10-18-2013 02:49 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Disappointment usually stems from expecting too much from strangers on Facebook.
←Rate | 07-15-2014 00:30 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who make really bad decisions are always like "I have the worst luck"
←Rate | 09-05-2014 13:22 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'd love to come to your holiday party and stare at my phone all night.
←Rate | 12-17-2014 13:00 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yesterday I met my ex-girlfriend’s son and told him about how I once auditioned to be his father.
←Rate | 01-06-2014 12:41 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs.
←Rate | 05-05-2014 02:25 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you like her, tell her. Don't friendzone yourself. Have some balls. Be a man.
←Rate | 08-27-2013 14:05 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


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