GaryKoenig Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Volkswagen should bring back the Beetle as an electric car. They can call it the Lightning Bug.
←Rate | 10-13-2024 05:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon A blonde finds out she's going to have twins and starts crying. "What's wrong," the doctor asked, "Do you not want twins?" The blonde replied, "No, I don't know who the second dad is!"
←Rate | 09-03-2023 10:25 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone asked me if I had plans for the fall. It took me a moment to realize they meant "autumn", not the collapse of civilization.
←Rate | 08-29-2024 08:34 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know whose manager needs to hear this but pizza is not a bonus.
←Rate | 08-11-2024 05:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I used to care what people thought of me until I tried to pay my bills with their opinions.
←Rate | 01-31-2025 05:30 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can someone update me on what's offensive today? It's hard to keep up.
←Rate | 08-31-2024 06:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon It blows my mind that NASA is able to receive data from 4.67 billion miles away but I lose Wi-Fi signal in my kitchen.
←Rate | 05-17-2024 09:21 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you call me from a private number, I'll respect your privacy and not answer.
←Rate | 10-10-2023 05:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't wait till I retire! So that I can get up at 6am and drive around REAL slow and make everybody late for work.
←Rate | 09-09-2024 05:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear scammers, please stop flirting with all the people on their Facebook pages. We are all beautiful and charming and we do not want to be your friend. You are annoying!
←Rate | 08-15-2024 09:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they don't get the house anyway.
←Rate | 11-03-2023 05:48 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please pray for my wife. Nothing is wrong with her. She's just married to me, and I am a lot.
←Rate | 05-25-2024 09:42 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The world is getting too sensitive. Soon I won't be able to make fun of myself without people getting offended.
←Rate | 11-15-2023 09:25 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon There should be a reality show where flat-earthers search for the edge of the world.
←Rate | 10-27-2024 05:52 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon BLOND: How much does that microwave cost? MANAGER: Sorry, we don't sell to blondes. BLOND: How did you know I was a natural blond? MANAGER: Because that's a TV.
←Rate | 09-25-2023 05:51 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex just texted me, "Wish you were here". She does that every time she walks through a cemetery.
←Rate | 05-21-2024 05:43 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a liars pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun!
←Rate | 10-20-2024 05:40 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why did God make Adam before Eve? To give Adam a chance to speak.
←Rate | 10-05-2024 05:36 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Remember when teachers used to say, "You won't have a calculator everywhere you go?" Well, we showed them.
←Rate | 08-30-2024 06:33 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to Facebook. Please be patient - someone will disagree with you shortly.
←Rate | 01-15-2025 05:35 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  




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