doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Nothing worse than meeting the right person at the wrong time in your life.
←Rate | 04-07-2014 23:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are flies always rubbing their hands together? What are you up to? ANSWER ME INSECT
←Rate | 04-07-2014 23:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Missed Connection: You were standing at the RedBox. I was in my car self pleasuring. I accidentally honked like 8 times.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 18:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry NCAA, but "The Process Of Paint Drying" is on discovery channel. Maybe next time.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 18:28 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ants can lift fifty times their own body weight, but do they lift even one finger around the house? NO!
←Rate | 04-05-2014 18:27 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Popeye teaches you that spinach makes you stonger while completely skipping over the part about pooing your pants at work.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 18:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Living without regret begins first by killing all the memory cells with something called alcohol.
←Rate | 04-05-2014 18:24 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pandora just suggested that I listen to a preview of Nick Cannon's new album and technology has never made me this angry before.
←Rate | 03-27-2014 22:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Unless you're Roy bloody Rogers, or a Texas oil tycoon, I don't want to see anyone in a GaDern bolo tie
←Rate | 03-27-2014 22:05 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look, all I'm saying is if you didnt want me to take my clothes off and do an interpretive dance you should have turned off Michael Jacksons "man in the mirror".
←Rate | 03-27-2014 22:04 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope my death somehow involves a shrimp fork.
←Rate | 03-24-2014 08:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon My bed always shows signs of struggle in the morning.
←Rate | 03-24-2014 08:30 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always had this fantasy to make love to two women......... Like, in the same year
←Rate | 03-20-2014 16:19 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's weird how starving people aren't allergic to gluten.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 16:18 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon This CNN coverage of a missing plane is the longest episode of Gilligan's Island I've ever watched.
←Rate | 03-20-2014 16:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'tipsy' is not in my vocabulary... It's 'drunk' or 'sober'.
←Rate | 03-17-2014 20:03 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Black mothers be like "your dad was on that Malaysia flight."
←Rate | 03-17-2014 20:02 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon One time I lost my phone for 6 days, so I feel your struggle Malaysia.
←Rate | 03-17-2014 19:55 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Maybe that plane doesn't want to be found, have you ever think about that?
←Rate | 03-17-2014 19:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon What if they're looking for a "ping" but it's really a "pong?" Airplane jokes are really the in thing.
←Rate | 03-17-2014 19:54 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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