ZINC Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Just tried to change my password to 'Twilight,' but Facebook wouldn't let me. Said there's too many useless characters.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 17:29 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm curious: Do girls shake the gasoline nozzle when they're taking it out of their cars too?
←Rate | 05-29-2013 17:22 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm always right. And when I'm not, I edit Wikipedia.
←Rate | 05-29-2013 17:20 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Alcohol doesn't solve problems, but neither does milk
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:28 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just realized that sometimes I can be a little condescending (that means I talk down to people).
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:27 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sick of people comparing Freddie Mercury to God. I mean, the guy was pretty good, but he was no Freddie Mercury.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:23 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon No matter how old you are, no matter how badass you think you are, If a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, You answer it.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:19 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really only realize what I'm missing by not having a relationship when I have to make my own sandwiches.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:16 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some people lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That's where I come in.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:15 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan. Someone's going to be wrong.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:09 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've got some terrible news: FOX
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:04 by Zinc Comments (3)  


   messageicon I find it weird that restraining orders don't specify what kind of restraints to use.
←Rate | 05-28-2013 01:04 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't like gay marriage blame straight people. They're the ones who keep on having gay babies.
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:58 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Toys R Us sells toys. Bikes R Us sells bikes. Imagine my disappointment when I went next door to Babies R Us
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:55 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone I know is either getting married or pregnant, I'm just getting drunk
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:53 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really gotta start saying "congratulations" Instead of "are you keeping it?"
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:49 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everytime someone says "Expect the unexpected" I like to punch them in the face and say "not as easy as it sounds, now is it?"
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:47 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say dolphins are the second smartest animal after humans, but I've never seen a dolphin with a face tattoo.
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:46 by Zinc Comments (4)  


   messageicon I once visited The Virgin Islands. When I left, they were just called The Islands.
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:43 by Zinc Comments (0)  


   messageicon This morning, I got robbed in the shower by some soap scum.
←Rate | 05-22-2013 00:42 by Zinc Comments (0)  




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