Jeremycakes Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Canada gave the world Justin Beiber. As a canadian, I just wanna say sorry everybody. Our bad. No need to retaliate with nukes or anything.
←Rate | 04-11-2010 14:08 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are so many people looking for Bin Laden, I think they should also search for Joyce Dewitt from Three's Company. She vanished over 20 years ago. Not even TMZ seem to know where she is.
←Rate | 04-10-2010 20:40 by JeremyCakes Comments (2)  


   messageicon I don't see why people have to say in thier status they they are getting in the shower. I don't want to picture your bare fat behind in the shower!
←Rate | 04-08-2010 15:38 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Had a dream I was stranded on a deserted island with Dracula and Rosie O donnell. Pretty spooky! One is a evil being that is pale,and will drain the life out of you.....And the other one's a vampire.
←Rate | 04-04-2010 21:51 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't watch Kate Gosselin on Dancing with the Stars. Whenever they swing her around the dance floor, I'm scared more babies will fly out!
←Rate | 03-31-2010 19:23 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon (Q) Why are there no female hockey players in the NHL? (A) They don't want to go through 3 periods each game
←Rate | 03-24-2010 21:42 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon With today being St Patricks day,I've decided to dedicate my life to helping leprechauns clean up thier act. They're always smoking the pot at the end of the rainbow.
←Rate | 03-17-2010 19:01 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last time I was at the hospital lab they asked for a urine sample. I said " No more samples! Either you buy it or you don't! I can't just go giving away free samples every time I come here."
←Rate | 03-15-2010 09:29 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not sure what causes more destruction, a F5 tornado or my 5 year old daughter on a sugar buzz?
←Rate | 03-13-2010 20:31 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hopefully Paris Hilton never becomes a vampire. Sure she loves the nightlife, but she'll go nuts not being able to see her refection every 10 minutes.
←Rate | 03-11-2010 07:33 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pat Robertson blamed hurricane Katrina on sexual sin,he blamed the Haiti earthquake on a supposed pact with satan. We havn't had any severe disaster up here in Canada yet but he'll probily blame it on the success of Justin Bieber or Pamela anderson.
←Rate | 03-04-2010 13:53 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love the idea of Canada and America sitting down for a bud and a labatts. While we're at it we should have some apple pie and some poutine. America and Canada are like two brothers. We may argue alot but in the end we're family. Hey america. you ROCK!
←Rate | 02-28-2010 21:58 by JeremyCakes Comments (3)  


   messageicon Well another gold for Canada in hockey. Gotta love it! You americans played a good game but this was our night. But you americans don't need to feel bad, one of your teams will probily be bringing home the Stanley Cup, so it kinda evens out.
←Rate | 02-28-2010 18:27 by JeremyCakes Comments (5)  


   messageicon Have you ever had one of those bad days when you felt like you were the thong and the world was Rosie O donnell?
←Rate | 02-23-2010 09:51 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wonder, if I drive by myself, does it still count as a carpool since I'm bringing the voices in my head with me?
←Rate | 02-21-2010 23:05 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a U.F.O at a football game the other night. It was just hangin there! And then it sent me a message,in big bright shiny letters. It told me I was gonna have a good year.
←Rate | 02-16-2010 15:20 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, you'll feed him for life. Give a octopus nunchuks and nobody's going to bother those fish again.
←Rate | 02-13-2010 18:06 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever looked up the word "dictionary" in the dictionary? A hand comes out of the page and slaps you across the face.
←Rate | 02-10-2010 15:29 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  


   messageicon They say you can't outrun a charging bear. But really you don't have to outrun the bear, you just have to outrun whoever you're with. That's why I only camp with slow people.
←Rate | 02-09-2010 10:18 by JeremyCakes Comments (2)  


   messageicon God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they ate all my oreos and were always peeing on my toilet seat.
←Rate | 02-07-2010 17:55 by JeremyCakes Comments (0)  




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