Hot Tea Funny Status Messages

   wants to change out the sound of her car horn for gun fire. I mean, who has an urge to blow a trumpet when you get road rage anyhow?

   Wonders how much I will go for on ebay. Let the bidding begin!!!

   running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.

   Not surprisingly, slow-cooked Leprechauns taste just like corned beef!

   changed the title of today from: Bill Paying Day to Check Writing Day. Yes, I am writing checks...but the bills are not necessarily gonna get paid. We'll see who posts them at the bank faster! Moooowahahahahaha

   an angel. When someone breaks my wings, I simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. I am flexible.

   's doctor advised her to eat better, excercise more and quit drinking. Incidentally, X has out lived her last three doctor's that suggested the same thing.

   I don't know who's apartment I stayed at last night, but I just showered here and their shampoo is PHENOMINAL.

   the definition of Door: What my dog is perpetually on the wrong side of!

   I think I'm ready for a man in my life again. I cleaned out one drawer...in the kitchen, two inches of hanger space...in the hall closet and enough room for one pair of shoes...on the porch.