Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon So what caused GM to beg for a bailout 10 years ago. I am sure it wasnt bad management
←Rate | 11-27-2018 20:29 Comments (2)  

   messageicon People ask to meet for coffee so they can pick my brain almost every week. If you don’t want to pay for consultancy I don’t have a brain.
←Rate | 11-27-2018 13:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon My friend hates it when I put his chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers. He gets his snickers in a twix.
←Rate | 11-27-2018 11:31 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon My grandpa was so competitive that on his death bed, as he breathed his last, he said, "Staring contest......GO".
←Rate | 11-27-2018 11:17 by Stevielea Comments (0)  

   messageicon When someone says "Only God can judge me" what they are really saying "I know it's wrong but I still don't care."
←Rate | 11-27-2018 09:24 Comments (1)  

   messageicon I was thinking about going to Walmart for Black Friday but I couldn't find my pajamas.
←Rate | 11-26-2018 13:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Who let the dogs out?" - [Pavlov getting annoyed]
←Rate | 11-26-2018 13:23 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon British PhD student Matthew Hedges has been pardoned in the United Arab Emirates! All he has to do is visit the Embassy to pick up his papers!
←Rate | 11-26-2018 12:55 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon brought to you in full digital and also giving out coupons for your box.
←Rate | 11-26-2018 10:41 by elpd Comments (0)  

   messageicon The older I get, the more sense it makes to have a TV in the bathroom.
←Rate | 11-25-2018 16:47 by Joker Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thankful saturday: The saturday after Thanksgiving when all your relatives have finally gone back home.
←Rate | 11-25-2018 16:44 by Joker Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never buy my grandchildren's christmas presents in november. They really seem fun...and Christmas is in more than a month...oh what the heck: I have to try them. It's party time!
←Rate | 11-25-2018 09:25 by mohayg Comments (0)  

   messageicon I remember going to see Dr Hook in the 80s. Worst prostate exam ever!! 😲
←Rate | 11-25-2018 06:32 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good cooks don’t bake pies that taste like scented candles. cc: Darlene Van Der Pooten
←Rate | 11-24-2018 14:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Research has suggested that the internet has made us less intelligent and less patient. I don't understand that so I'm moving on.
←Rate | 11-24-2018 12:21 Comments (0)  

   messageicon my dad calls me BJ because that's all I was ever supposed to be :(
←Rate | 11-24-2018 12:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It’s not unusual to get Tom Jones songs stuck in your head.
←Rate | 11-24-2018 04:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon They say a man's "member" can be gauged by the size of their feet. That maybe why my sister dates clowns.
←Rate | 11-23-2018 19:49 by Joker Comments (0)  

   messageicon Get your copy of "Who's Boat is this Boat" today!
←Rate | 11-23-2018 12:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girlfriend asked me to come to her place for a Black Friday special. All clothes were 100% off.
←Rate | 11-23-2018 02:41 Comments (0)  

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