Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Atheists, spending all their negative energy and life talking about God until they become plant food. What a waste
←Rate | 02-19-2018 03:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think my mailman is stealing my Nigerian lottery checks
←Rate | 02-19-2018 03:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just bought the "Best of 2 Pac” CD and it's blank.
←Rate | 02-18-2018 23:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess Prince Harry realize that Trump can't make the royal wedding great.
←Rate | 02-18-2018 22:14 Comments (5)  


   messageicon NBA All Star Game: Fergie sang that National Anthem so bad, Collin Kaepernick stood up and told her not to disrespect the Anthem like that.
←Rate | 02-18-2018 21:46 by JW Comments (0)  


   messageicon I see house flies in the house...horse flies near horses...so why do I never see dragon flies on episodes of Game of Thrones?
←Rate | 02-18-2018 19:56 by Eddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scotty, don't beam me up yet. I am taking a dump.
←Rate | 02-18-2018 03:54 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If running on a treadmill was only way to Recharge our phones, we would be the healthiest people on the planet
←Rate | 02-17-2018 21:17 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just saved a$1,375.00 on my Visa card by not going to Disney World .
←Rate | 02-17-2018 15:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today’s hairstyle at Walmart is called, “And I didn’t brush my teeth either.”
←Rate | 02-17-2018 14:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know that if you light a candle during a full moon and say the name of the person you love three times you will look very stupid doing that.
←Rate | 02-17-2018 09:14 Comments (2)  


   messageicon When a person gets a dui and kills people we blame the person.. when a person blows up a building we blame that person.. when there is a mass shooting we blame the gun lmao
←Rate | 02-17-2018 06:59 Comments (6)  


   messageicon Hello dangerous young man! Come and look at our extensive range of military grade, rapid - fire weapons, that can easily eliminate any normal people that question your anti - social and sadistic tendencies!
←Rate | 02-17-2018 06:06 by Truman Comments (6)  


   messageicon A reminder on one of my dating profiles says "You should be more popular!" I agree.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 22:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The smog is so bad in my city that in the mornig the birds wake me by coughing in stead chirping.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 22:31 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be the reason someone smiles today
←Rate | 02-16-2018 20:58 by Justathought Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a human cannibal is the only job where you can be fired evey day and still keep your job :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 20:54 by Jake Comments (1)  


   messageicon After a night of passion, I told my new girlfriend that she was the frist one I've ever been with. She smiled and said really? I said yea, the other's were sevens and eights. :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 19:35 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget boys and girls: IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING! So the FBI can ignore you and let the shooter go ahead and so his thing.
←Rate | 02-16-2018 18:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The government and a duck have something in common. They both can stick their bills up their (_|_) :)
←Rate | 02-16-2018 18:08 by Jake Comments (0)  



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