Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Instead of getting periods, can girls just get a text once a month from mother nature saying "You're not pregnant, have a nice day!"
←Rate | 07-21-2015 08:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well I guess Caitlyn Jenner missed out on both Mother and Father's Day this year....
←Rate | 06-21-2015 19:28 by wiserone Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Sorry, her mother is a pterodactyl" ..... *Me with the screeching toddler in the grocery store.
←Rate | 05-29-2015 18:17 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day to the iPad that's raising your child...
←Rate | 05-10-2015 22:05 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanks to Facebook I met everyone's mother today
←Rate | 05-10-2015 20:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing say's "Happy Mother's Day" like a uterus shaped pizza!
←Rate | 05-10-2015 19:31 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for the womb and board.
←Rate | 05-10-2015 15:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does Bruce Jenner get a Mother's Day present this year?
←Rate | 05-10-2015 14:49 by grimthereaper Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day! Mom's are the REAL MVP.
←Rate | 05-10-2015 11:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Where are the realistic Mother's Day cards that say, "Well you did the best you could with what you had and I still love you anyways."
←Rate | 05-10-2015 08:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon as many times as I've been called "that mother f*cker" in my life, I better be getting a Mother's Day card and gift too.
←Rate | 05-09-2015 00:05 by silhouetteot Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother's Day: I'm sorry you almost died during those 36 hours you were pushing me out of your vagina. Take these chocolates I bought for you..
←Rate | 05-08-2015 13:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When my son was a teen and bragged how he came out of his mother, I reminded him that he came out of me first.
←Rate | 04-30-2015 06:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Screw it..... I'm just gonna say that these are " Mother's Day" lights now..... *lazy Christmas light owners...
←Rate | 04-23-2015 23:29 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon My cell phone battery dies faster than a mother in a Disney movie.
←Rate | 03-04-2015 13:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Look, nobody can tell the sex of your baby, so please either pierce it's ears or draw a mustache on that ambiguous little mother f*cker
←Rate | 02-20-2015 00:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon WTF is with all the American Girl dolls on ebays deal of the day.... This isn't christmas mother fcukers
←Rate | 02-16-2015 15:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon One of the most difficult jobs in the world is being a mother. If done wrong, you could ruin someone's future......NO PRESSURE!!!
←Rate | 01-14-2015 09:20 by KPiccalo Comments (0)  

   messageicon " Fcuk the Police" ............ Please encourage this!! With the shift work we do protecting your sorry ass it's sometimes hard to meet women. So please encourage your sister and mother to continue your cause!!
←Rate | 12-03-2014 19:53 by BigSarge Comments (1)  

   messageicon Charles Manson is getting married to a 26-year-old and I’m still single. I’ll never hear the end of it from my mother at thanks giving.
←Rate | 11-24-2014 08:47 Comments (0)  

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