Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:02 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Actually, Yes! I do want to see a picture of your Mother-In-Law Eli. Your wife is hot!
←Rate | 08-21-2015 12:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Instead of getting periods, can girls just get a text once a month from mother nature saying "You're not pregnant, have a nice day!"
←Rate | 07-21-2015 08:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well I guess Caitlyn Jenner missed out on both Mother and Father's Day this year....
←Rate | 06-21-2015 19:28 by wiserone Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Sorry, her mother is a pterodactyl" ..... *Me with the screeching toddler in the grocery store.
←Rate | 05-29-2015 18:17 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day to the iPad that's raising your child...
←Rate | 05-10-2015 22:05 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanks to Facebook I met everyone's mother today
←Rate | 05-10-2015 20:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing say's "Happy Mother's Day" like a uterus shaped pizza!
←Rate | 05-10-2015 19:31 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for the womb and board.
←Rate | 05-10-2015 15:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does Bruce Jenner get a Mother's Day present this year?
←Rate | 05-10-2015 14:49 by grimthereaper Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day! Mom's are the REAL MVP.
←Rate | 05-10-2015 11:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Where are the realistic Mother's Day cards that say, "Well you did the best you could with what you had and I still love you anyways."
←Rate | 05-10-2015 08:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon as many times as I've been called "that mother f*cker" in my life, I better be getting a Mother's Day card and gift too.
←Rate | 05-09-2015 00:05 by silhouetteot Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother's Day: I'm sorry you almost died during those 36 hours you were pushing me out of your vagina. Take these chocolates I bought for you..
←Rate | 05-08-2015 13:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When my son was a teen and bragged how he came out of his mother, I reminded him that he came out of me first.
←Rate | 04-30-2015 06:40 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Screw it..... I'm just gonna say that these are " Mother's Day" lights now..... *lazy Christmas light owners...
←Rate | 04-23-2015 23:29 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon My cell phone battery dies faster than a mother in a Disney movie.
←Rate | 03-04-2015 13:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Look, nobody can tell the sex of your baby, so please either pierce it's ears or draw a mustache on that ambiguous little mother f*cker
←Rate | 02-20-2015 00:39 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon WTF is with all the American Girl dolls on ebays deal of the day.... This isn't christmas mother fcukers
←Rate | 02-16-2015 15:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon One of the most difficult jobs in the world is being a mother. If done wrong, you could ruin someone's future......NO PRESSURE!!!
←Rate | 01-14-2015 09:20 by KPiccalo Comments (0)  

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