Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon My Mother in law Joined ISIS this morning.. She leaves tomorrow on a suicide mission.. At least that's what the papers I just signed said ..
←Rate | 12-18-2015 19:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why is it that a lot of the people who think everyone is too easily offended these days act like you just insulted their mother by saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas"?
←Rate | 12-18-2015 15:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon In mother Russia, Turkey shoots you for Thanksgiving
←Rate | 11-24-2015 12:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Taking care of your drunk friends inadvertently prepares you to be a father or mother.
←Rate | 11-11-2015 12:26 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Apparently today is Mother-In-Law day. Who knew
←Rate | 10-25-2015 07:25 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Fun Fact: It took 4 trips back in time before Marty McFly was able to resist having sex with his mother.
←Rate | 10-21-2015 15:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When my mother calls with a computer problem, I tell her to try shutting it off and turning it back on in 6 months.
←Rate | 09-04-2015 16:02 by huck Comments (0)  

   messageicon Actually, Yes! I do want to see a picture of your Mother-In-Law Eli. Your wife is hot!
←Rate | 08-21-2015 12:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Instead of getting periods, can girls just get a text once a month from mother nature saying "You're not pregnant, have a nice day!"
←Rate | 07-21-2015 08:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well I guess Caitlyn Jenner missed out on both Mother and Father's Day this year....
←Rate | 06-21-2015 19:28 by wiserone Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Sorry, her mother is a pterodactyl" ..... *Me with the screeching toddler in the grocery store.
←Rate | 05-29-2015 18:17 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day to the iPad that's raising your child...
←Rate | 05-10-2015 22:05 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thanks to Facebook I met everyone's mother today
←Rate | 05-10-2015 20:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Nothing say's "Happy Mother's Day" like a uterus shaped pizza!
←Rate | 05-10-2015 19:31 by Timk Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks for the womb and board.
←Rate | 05-10-2015 15:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does Bruce Jenner get a Mother's Day present this year?
←Rate | 05-10-2015 14:49 by grimthereaper Comments (0)  

   messageicon Happy Mother's Day! Mom's are the REAL MVP.
←Rate | 05-10-2015 11:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Where are the realistic Mother's Day cards that say, "Well you did the best you could with what you had and I still love you anyways."
←Rate | 05-10-2015 08:50 Comments (0)  

   messageicon as many times as I've been called "that mother f*cker" in my life, I better be getting a Mother's Day card and gift too.
←Rate | 05-09-2015 00:05 by silhouetteot Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mother's Day: I'm sorry you almost died during those 36 hours you were pushing me out of your vagina. Take these chocolates I bought for you..
←Rate | 05-08-2015 13:11 Comments (0)  

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