Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon The TV show 'Hoarders' is ok and all but I liked it so much better when it was called 'Sanford and Son'.
←Rate | 01-26-2024 10:58 by CoolguyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate when I eat my last bite of food, not realizing it was the last bite,then immediately get sad because I wasn't able to mentally prepare myself. πŸ₯“πŸ•πŸ”πŸ²πŸ˜₯
←Rate | 01-25-2024 21:25 by CoolguyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon "I've made a lot mistakes in my life, but just know you were never one of them" -ME (looking at my triple bacon cheeseburger...extra bacon).
←Rate | 01-25-2024 11:28 by CoolguyB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I kept staring at the orange juice carton too long because it said "Concentrate"!
←Rate | 01-25-2024 09:47 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know how we smack your household appliances when they’re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.
←Rate | 01-25-2024 08:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every drop of water on earth has been through multiple kidneys at this point.
←Rate | 01-24-2024 15:28 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon Marriage tip: Every once in a while, call your wife by one of your ex girlfriend's names. This will help her realize that she is not the only woman on the docket and that you're a really good catch!
←Rate | 01-24-2024 05:58 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hoes be looking for guys with the same initials as there x. So they don't have to edit they tattoos . Lol
←Rate | 01-23-2024 11:39 by JIMBOFUNATANYBAR Comments (0)  


   messageicon Transginger. I don't have red hair, But I'll think could rock it.
←Rate | 01-23-2024 11:38 by JIMBOFUNATANYBAR Comments (0)  


   messageicon I smell pizza. I think I'm having a Little Seizure
←Rate | 01-23-2024 11:38 by JIMBOFUNATANYBAR Comments (0)  


   messageicon Working 5 days a week just to be free for 48hrs just doesn't sit right with me.
←Rate | 01-23-2024 05:53 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Transgender
←Rate | 01-23-2024 00:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is there enough asphalt for speed bumps but not enough to fill potholes?
←Rate | 01-22-2024 11:08 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon my name jeff
←Rate | 01-21-2024 21:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon a monkey
←Rate | 01-21-2024 21:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The biggest mistake people make in a relationship is giving their heart to someone who needs a brain.
←Rate | 01-21-2024 05:57 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon The relationship between a husband and wife is psychological. One is psycho and the other is logical.
←Rate | 01-19-2024 09:42 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's not the stab in the back that hurts you. It's when you turn turn around and see who's holding the knife.
←Rate | 01-19-2024 06:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Waking up is never easy but I just have to remember that the world can't revolve around me unless I get out of bed.
←Rate | 01-18-2024 08:39 by GaryKoenig Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gen X. Living in the shadows of Baby Boomers, yet not as identifiable as Millennials. A generation of nothingness whose sole contribution to society is giving birth to Gen Z. Those annoying imbeciles.
←Rate | 01-17-2024 21:31 by Fike Comments (0)  




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