hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Our kids will never know the terror of calling their crush on a landline and having their parents answer the phone.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 04:10 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like to go to Best Buy and drink a cup of coffee in front of the Geek Squad guys then hand them my empty cup and tell them I successfully installed Java....they hate me
←Rate | 10-24-2012 04:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
←Rate | 12-26-2011 07:56 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Put your GPS on full volume for your daily commute if you want to know what marriage is like.
←Rate | 02-05-2013 19:43 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Every load of laundry that I wash, dry, fold, and put away makes nudists seem less crazy.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 08:21 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wasn't able to sell our kitchen table on Craigslist, but we did get invited to 3 orgies and a donkey show
←Rate | 04-06-2013 15:00 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Before Twitter Americans had no way of knowing the illiteracy rates of their favorite celebrities.
←Rate | 12-29-2011 17:53 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon My kindle fire reads "50 shades of grey" to me. Its like having an obscene phonecall from Steven Hawking.
←Rate | 09-08-2012 07:57 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Interesting that a lot of religions are anti-pork because bacon is the thing that makes me believe in God.
←Rate | 03-01-2012 20:07 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're about to be turned into stone by Medusa, strike a hilarious pose and at least lighten things up for the next guy.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 04:27 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon You find out who your real friends are when all you have left to offer is friendship.
←Rate | 11-30-2012 16:00 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was just brushing my teeth and putting on deodorant when out of nowhere I hear "you're gonna have to pay for that"...this walmart sucks!
←Rate | 09-01-2012 14:33 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've counted 8 people so far whose New Year's resolutions include "loose weight". Can I add spelling to your list too?
←Rate | 01-01-2013 17:46 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Judging by the disproportionate size of Popeye's forearms, I'm guessing Olive Oyl didn't put out much.
←Rate | 03-25-2012 09:00 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all have chapters, in our lives, we don't want published. Be reminded though that it's those chapters which make the book worth reading.
←Rate | 01-14-2012 08:04 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best stories ever told always end with the words"...and then I got the hell out of there."
←Rate | 12-09-2012 08:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just a few smartphone apps away from never having to talk to anyone again.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 08:20 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just turned my keyboard upside down and shook it over my desk and now I don't have to go grocery shopping for at least two weeks.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 08:25 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon Slippery Slope of New Years Resolutions: 1st Resolution: Go to the gym every day. 2nd: Feel guilty for not going. 3rd: Pie.
←Rate | 01-01-2012 07:44 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon "The guy at the first window called you a little b!tch." - Me at the second window at the Burger King Drive-Thru.
←Rate | 07-08-2012 09:50 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


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