Mick F Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon The main difference between The North and The South is, that in The North, "Blow Pop" is a noun, not a verb.
←Rate | 09-15-2011 10:26 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before marriage and after marriage.
←Rate | 07-09-2011 07:29 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some guy says to his teenage daughter “There are two words I'd like you to drop from your vocabulary. One is ‘awesome' and the other is ‘gross'.” “Okay,” she says, “what are they?”
←Rate | 09-22-2011 06:59 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Baseball World Records: Most Home Runs: Barry Bonds RBI's: Hank Aaron Career Batting Streak: Joe DiMaggio Most Innings Pitched: Cy Young Hit In The Face With The Most Balls: Justin Bieber
←Rate | 10-03-2011 22:36 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Modern music is like Taco Bell. They keep coming up with new things using the same seven ingredients.
←Rate | 07-17-2011 11:06 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon A mom knows everything about her kids...their favorite foods, friends, clothes, their school reports and their dreams. A dad is vaguely aware that there are some short people staying in the house with him.
←Rate | 09-16-2011 08:40 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a guy opens the door of his car for a girl, you can be sure of one thing, either the girl is new or the car is.
←Rate | 09-13-2011 07:36 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon You guys mind if I get this out of the way a little early? Thanks. Dear Monday, I hate you.
←Rate | 07-10-2011 18:05 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have an inferiority complex, but it's not a very good one.
←Rate | 09-12-2011 19:56 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girl told me she was miserable in our relationship. She said she lost 10 lbs. I asked her if it was over and she said, "Not yet, I want to lose 15."
←Rate | 09-13-2011 06:11 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop using Jesus as an excuse for being a narrow-minded, bigoted a$$hole.
←Rate | 09-06-2011 07:19 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I made a donation to some guy who solicited me from the Occupy Movement. I mailed it to "Occupant".
←Rate | 11-14-2011 05:51 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Frustration 2011: A pic of several women. They're all tagged EXCEPT the only hot one.
←Rate | 11-09-2011 06:58 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon God then gave lean beef so that Man might eat healthy and still satisfy his appetite. But Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger, then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes!" And Satan smiled.
←Rate | 09-17-2011 07:05 by Mick F Comments (1)  


   messageicon All 911 decals have been removed from Police cars in an effort to dissuade Mexicans from stealing them who think they're Porsches.
←Rate | 10-06-2011 07:40 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon A guy is on a tightrope between two skyscrapers. Another guy is getting a smokejob from a 90 year old lady. What are they both thinking?...Don't look down.
←Rate | 09-17-2011 21:55 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They can smell it but they can't eat it.
←Rate | 09-24-2011 09:51 by Mick F Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm more confused than an infant in a titty bar.
←Rate | 09-04-2011 11:55 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon Newt Gingrich is the Republican front runner? I wouldn't bother getting those moving boxes just yet, Barack.
←Rate | 12-15-2011 23:23 by Mick F Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was on the phone last night with my mom and I was telling her that I had a real bad headache? She says, "You have any acetylsalicylic acid?" I said, "Ma, you mean aspirin?" She goes, “That's it, I can never remember that word.”
←Rate | 07-09-2011 07:20 by Mick F Comments (0)  



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